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Sarah, 43

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Meet Sarah…

My hope is to get out and become a productive member of society. I learned by helping others that change begins on the inside and it is never ending.

Sarah, 43
Incarcerated: 17 years
Housed: La Vista Correctional Facility, Pueblo, Colorado

I never thought I was capable of taking a life. My worst nightmare became a reality and led me to incarceration. I was lost. I had no idea who I was or wanted to become. The only thing that I knew is that I had to be a good mother, girlfriend, daughter, sister, and friend. This meant taking care of everyone but myself. Just over 17 years ago I knew I needed to change. Little did I know just how much I would change over these years. When I found Go, I learned to lean heavily on all of his promises. He has seen fit to use me to help people inside with all kinds of different programs. Once I accepted responsibility for my actions, he helped form my character.

I went from being a liar, manipulator, and victim to being a woman who is transparent, honest, and owns what I do, good or bad. Knowing I have hurt so many people, I dedicated my life in service to honor my victims. It is how I hold myself accountable to the wrongs I’ve done. My hope is to get out and become a productive member of society. I learned by helping others that change begins on the inside and it is never ending. Happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy and I hope others will too.

Rolando, 37

Rolando, 37

Meet Rolando…

I’m working on furthering my education. I am also in self help groups to better myself and to find my way out of prison.

Rolando, 37
Incarcerated: 18 years
Housed: Valley State Prison, Chowchilla, CA

I’m in prison on a murder charge. I like to stay busy and out of trouble. I love to play soccer and listen to reggae, oldies and rap. My favorite movies: Fast and the Furious, Titanic and Twilight. I like to cut people’s hair.

When I started my time, I didn’t know anything about prison. One day, I was standing next to three people fighting in the yard. When the officer came to separate them, he thought I was fighting too. I told him I had nothing to do with it, I saw a commotion and walked away. He then asked the officer in the tower what he saw, he said I had nothing to do with it. That was one of the scariest incidents I’ve been through. Another time an officer dropped something while talking to a sergeant. I waited for him to finish talking, and told him he had dropped something and that he could get in trouble. He was proud of me, because he said there are not too many people like me. He told me to keep up the good work. I felt proud. I’m working on furthering my education. I am also in self help groups to better myself and to find my way out of prison.

Samantha, 30

Samantha, 30

Meet Samantha…

Being covered in blood and bruises was “normal,” but my boyfriend had beaten me to the point that I miscarried our baby.

Samantha, 30
Incarcerated: 1 year
Housed: La Vista Correctional Facility, Pueblo, Colorado

I was going to college for mortuary science when I met a guy. We had a very toxic relationship involving drugs and domestic violence. In February of 2013,  I woke up in my backyard in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. Being covered in blood and bruises was “normal,” but my boyfriend had beaten me to the point that I miscarried our baby. A part of me was thankful that I wasn’t going to be stuck with him forever. After I recovered, I left. I got a restraining order. I moved to another town. I got a job and was doing fine until he showed up at my job and wouldn’t leave. Countless times he would be removed in handcuffs and eventually I was let go due to the unwanted attention it was bringing to the store.

I moved a couple more times and changed my number. I didn’t feel I was able to get a job since he was stalking me. I was in the kitchen at a friend’s house when he showed up and started throwing me around. I got free from his grasp and locked myself in the bathroom. I crawled out the window and ran down the street to the first car I saw. Driving was a 52 year old man. I asked for a ride anywhere. Here most 22 year old girls would be nervous getting in the car with a stranger, but I was willing to take the risk. I came to Colorado with him. He let me stay in a spare room, helped me get in contact with my parole officer and get my legal stuff taken care of. He brought me back to Oregon to do a jail sentence for absconding, then picked me up and came back to Colorado where he helped me get a job and get back on my feet. 

Richard, 67

Richard, 67

Meet Richard…

I picked up a brand new term the following year of 25 to life for a paper of dope. It seemed like a great injustice at the time, but in hindsight it was only payback for all the crap I got away with.

Richard, 67
Incarcerated: 46 years
Housed: San Quentin State Prison

I’m still probably crazier than a s*** house mouse, not from doing drugs mind you, but from doing time…lots and lots of time, because of drugs. As a reoffender I ask, why am I here? Why do I come back? And why can’t I change? And on all accounts I’m responsible for myself. I began my prison term in 1976. Strung out again and again, prison became like a revolving door for me, until 1982 when a wheelbarrow full of armed robberies earned me 37 years. Miraculously, I only had to serve a quarter of that, but I didn’t learn a thing in prison. I picked up a brand new term the following year of 25 to life for a paper of dope. It seemed like a great injustice at the time, but in hindsight it was only payback for all the crap I got away with– including a string of bank robberies across three counties, karma is a real thing! Two decades later, after I weaseled my way out of the system yet again, thoroughly insane and with nobody to give a damn, I got myself shot trying to hold up a McDonalds. So here I am, two thirds of my 67 years incarcerated behind dope. I initially wanted to do myself in, but now I find purpose in passing on knowledge to the younger generation and oldsters too. No matter how much you hate it in here, it will never be enough to keep you out, until you come to hate the things which put you in here in the first place. So long as you harbor an appetite for drugs and criminal activities, you will always return to that stuff and inevitably find yourself in handcuffs all over again. It’s just one big tremendous waste of life, which in all our faiths is considered a gift from our Creator, to be used to glorify Him and love our neighbor. Not pillage, steal and rape him, that is my message. Go with God and you’ll never have to return or hurt anyone again. Until something changes drastically with the sentencing laws in California, such as the repeal of Three Strikes You’re Out, here is where I’ll be until death do us part.

Side note: In the second picture, Richard is sitting with Michael, our Humans of San Quentin Inside Communications Director.

Jose, 36

Jose, 36

Meet Jose…

Since the beginning of my existence, I was cloaked in darkness, confined to small spaces. As cramped as I was, comfort and peace was gained by familiarity to my surroundings.

Jose, 36
Incarcerated: 5 years
Housed: Susanville, California

Since the beginning of my existence, I was cloaked in darkness, confined to small spaces. As cramped as I was, comfort and peace was gained by familiarity to my surroundings. Like a seedling buried deep within earth, I too burst forth clawing for survival into a world unknown. My comfort & peace seemed to fade away. As I grew up, I pushed past resistance, elbowed my way through uncertainties in order to stand firm in a space I call my own. Becoming attached to things, to people, only to have them ripped away from my clutches caused a pain to stay. Disappointment, shame, sorrow was masked layer upon layer with rage, hate, and a heart that’s hollow. Resulting in my inner light to fade away. I sought friends from the free world whom might help me escape a dream twirl. Little did I know about the path laid down before me would illuminate the love that stood upon it. A love so majestic that it would revive my inner light which I believed to be non-existent. I held her picture in my hands and couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

I read and reread her letter until I felt my soul awakened. I couldn’t wait any longer. I made my fateful call to her. Like a bolt of lightning ZAP! Her voice struck a chord within my soul and I heard a melody so sweet, I dare call it divine. All I wanted, all I needed, all I had hoped and prayed for I found in her. A woman who looked at my tears of pain, fear, shame, anger, rage, and wiped them away. She listens, she knows, she feels all that I’ve fought, all that I’ve faced, sees in me a man of greatness, a man of perpetual elevation. My inner light was diminished because I had lost my vision. She clears away the fog, she finetunes my perspective, she stands next to me, forever, because she’s here to stay

 

(We were married March 18, 2023).

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