Davion, 23

Meet Davion…

Growing up, I never thought I would end up in jail. My brothers and sisters never went to jail. I never witnessed anyone close to me go to jail. I ended up being the youngest and the first one in my family to go to prison. I’d tell myself, “Don’t do it. For sure don’t do it.”

Incarcerated: 2 years

I’ve had a decade of violence from friends and family being killed by gun fire. The first time I saw a gun, I was 12. Thirteen of my friends have been killed by gun violence. More than 20 of my family members have died. I got my first gun at 14. At 15, I was wild with it, everyone around me had a gun, it was the thing to do if you didn’t want to get caught slippin.’ You defended yourself to survive. This drew me to prison. I was doing good otherwise, playing sports in school, trying to do something with my life and I wanted to go to college, but it was that gun. Guns make you do something stupid, like point it at someone to get money. Guns for my generation are huge. I even got them tatted on my hands. It was like buying Jordans when they were in, we’d wait in line for guns, clips and magazines. I wouldn’t say it’s the gun’s fault because someone controls the gun. It’s people’s fault. People like power. What’s the answer? Phew, wow…if they really wanted to stop gun violence, I truly believe they’d boost the age of owning a firearm, but there’s already so many guns out there. Taking away the Second Amendment so that no one has the right to bear arms, other than police to prevent robberies and crimes would do it. If people were to get ten plus years for having a gun, that would have kept me from getting a gun. It would have definitely saved me. If I knew my cousin got all that time for a gun, instead of 63 years to life for murder, it would have saved me. If only I could tell my 12 year old self what the future held. Growing up, I never thought I would end up in jail. My brothers and sisters never went to jail. I never witnessed anyone close to me go to jail. I ended up being the youngest and the first one in my family to go to prison. I’d tell myself, “Don’t do it. For sure don’t do it.

Jim, 73

Jim, 73

Meet Jim…

I was saved by the bell. The chow hall bell, signaling that dinner was ready. As soon as our door opened, he bull rushed toward his former cellie. He angrily tried to pick a fight with him.

Jim, 73
Incarcerated: 21 years

I held a position on the trash pick-up crew. I was relatively happy and making good progress through therapy and medication in moderating my bi-polar condition. I was sitting at a table in the visiting room with my aunt when I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard a voice say, “You have to move to Three Yard.” Three Yard is a b**ch. Guys can be brutal. Approximately 850 prisoners cram into a tiny yard for air. It’s no wonder that officers and prisoners were persistently grouchy. I asked, “Is there a library?” “Not an official library.” “Well, is there an unofficial place to borrow books?” Mr. Mahon, in the library, seemed to be a kind teacher, rare in my prison experience. I heard him say, “I’m trying to use my limited supply of books to put together a real library. You want a book, go to the back room. No pay, of course.” I went into the “back room” where I saw about 100 books in boxes. I also found an older prisoner who asked, “You looking for a job?” That’s how I got my strictly unofficial job at the temporary unofficial library. One advantage of this job was to have priority on books received. The cellies were generally much younger than me. A few of them were polite, but most were rude. I can’t remember any of them except for one – a 30-something thug from the San Joaquin Valley. We didn’t like each other from the outset, and we only lasted three weeks. The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back was when I caught him making prison wine called Pruno, hidden under my bunk. “You can’t do that in here. If you get caught, I’ll get in trouble too!” “F*** you, asshole. I’ll do what I want.” By that time, I had enough of Three Yard. I hadn’t met with my mental health clinician in over a year. When I asked to meet with him, amazingly my request was granted. He was a good guy. He promptly greased the admin wheels so I could return to One Yard. I was installed on the top bunk with a young, bald tattooed brother who refused to allow me to put my property under the lower bunk. I had to sleep with my boxes, while he studied German out loud all night…with the light on. Oh well. Here we go again.

Greg, 60

Greg, 60

Meet Greg…

“Two weeks after the robbery she picked me out of a lineup. I went to trial. I had a good lawyer, yet I was found guilty. I was given three years to life. I felt like I died that day.”

Incarcerated: 24 years

It was a cold clear day on January 20th I was on parole and was just released three months prior. I was staying with my brother Mike. I needed a car and a place for my girlfriend Debbie and I. I was selling small amounts of dope. Business was slow and my habit was getting bigger every day. I was at the point where I wasn’t going to be able to sustain. I needed money badly. There was a bank a stone’s throw away from the house. It’s in the perfect location. I rode my mountain bike. I parked behind the bank on the other side of the fence. I was higher than a kite, so I didn’t care if I got caught. I waited my turn in line. I didn’t have a weapon. I handed the nice teller a note, she read it and started putting money on the counter, $5,600. I put the money in my jacket pockets and walked out of the bank. I rode that two miles back to my brother’s house in well under five minutes. I bought a car, rented an apartment, and bought a TV and stereo. Nobody saw anything at the bank except the one bank teller. Two weeks after the robbery she picked me out of a lineup. I went to trial. I had a good lawyer, yet I was found guilty. I was given 32 years to life. I felt like I died that day.

Eldridge, 56

Eldridge, 56

Meet Eldridge…

I’ve taught myself, instead of reacting to situations, act on them. To think before I act.

Incarcerated: 30 years
Housed: Statesville Correctional Center, Joliet, Illinois

I’ve been talking to men the past 30 years and it’s hard to share your feelings with guys in this place. My mom lives in Michigan so I haven’t seen her in 30 years. We talk on the phone two times a week. I have never had a visit which is sad. Recently I’ve tried reaching out to my kids, two daughters, 31 and 36 and my son, 37. I’ve got grandkids I’ve never met and might not ever meet. I don’t know what to say to my kids. I just got back into their lives in 2020 and it’s been strange. We don’t know one another and it’s hard to write because my hands are shot. I have a tablet, so we can email but they haven’t done it and that’s what hurts knowing I have any kind of future with my kids. I filed a clemency petition last year and getting it scares me more than being turned down. I have no place to go and some nights that keep me up, but I have to lift my spirits up and stay strong. Nobody got me here but myself so I blame myself for all the wrong choices I’ve made in my life. I’ve taught myself, instead of reacting to situations, act on them. To think before I act. I have tested positive twice for Covid but never got sick. But I feel blessed, four of my friends didn’t make it. I shed a lot of tears for them. During these Covid times, please stay safe.

Stevin, 63

Stevin, 63

Meet Stevin…

As hard as life might be, in and out of prison, I’ve learned a secret that has changed my life. Happiness is a choice, a frame of mind. If you wake up each day and decide that you’re going to feel happiness and joy – you will

Incarcerated: 42 years

When I say I’m in prison, I’m describing where my body is, not my mind or spirit. After 42 years in prison, my body is slowly breaking down, yet despite all that, I feel blessed. It took several decades to learn how to live, and love, and to be happy. I finally found freedom, true freedom. I can only guess that it may be harder for me because of the environment I grew up in. For a very long time I have struggled with identity. I was told in a very harsh way when I was ten that my father wasn’t really my father, that he had adopted me. Not that I didn’t already feel out of place. As hard as life might be, in and out of prison, I learned a secret that changed my life. Happiness is a choice, a frame of mind. If you wake up each day and decide that you’re going to feel happiness and joy – you will. No matter what bad things happen on that day, it is still a present, enjoy it. Being in prison won’t prevent me from sharing my life, loves, joys or sufferings. I am grateful that prison isn’t much worse than it is. I hope all of you out there in the free world are having awesome lives. Remember it’s all a matter of perspective. You can decide your life or your day! It’s all up to you! I hope you are as blessed as I am. Take care my friends and I’d love to hear from you, friends out there, about your lives. 📸Stevin’s

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