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LaShawn, 41

LaShawn, 41

Stories

Meet LaShawn…

…I’m stronger because I had to be. I’m smarter because of my mistakes. I’m happier because of the sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned. And in the end… God always gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers! Thank you for giving us incarcerated individuals a voice.

Incarcerated: 4 years
Housed: Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, Bedford Hills, New York

I found my mother brutally murdered. Twelve years later, I was arrested and convicted of second-degree murder, for a crime I didn’t commit. There is no script to a situation of this sort. When I found her I held her. How could I not – she is my mother. Her blood ended up on my clothing.

I will admit that I am no saint and have made a number of mistakes in my life, but what I am accused of is not one of them. After finding my mother I turned to drugs and attempted to numb the visions, the smell of her blood, and the lonely emptiness of losing my best friend.

I am in constant contact with my two children, a few family members, friends and pen pals, all who support and believe in me. I am in the fight of my life for my life! The struggle is real, but I believe that someone will learn of my story and help me attain my freedom. In sharing my story it not only gives me a sense of relief but also I hope that someone might see the injustices that have been brought against me and together we can correct them. The past is a dead-end street. I have learned to move on, to keep fighting and embrace tomorrow.

I’m stronger because I had to be. I’m smarter because of my mistakes. I’m happier because of the sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned. And in the end… God always gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers! Thank you for giving us incarcerated individuals a voice.

A mother and child have a connection
That surpasses any and all relationships
One may encounter
A mother nurtures, strengthens and
Supports her child in any given
Situation
My mother was my Rock, my light
My Angel and above all else
My BEST FRIEND
Our bond was one that was envied
By many
You talk about thick as Thieves – that was us
I am strong, courageous, smart,
Hard-working, a mother of two
And a loving person because of
My mother
She gave me life
She gave me her all
There is not a chance that I could take something so precious
Away from myself
God knows and most
Importantly my mother knows the truth,
this is…
Not my crime! 📸 Dr. T’s

Arthur, 39

Arthur, 39

Stories

Meet Arthur…

…Billy – this is Pit, if you read this I want to thank you. Way back then – you changed my life and I doubt you knew it!

Incarcerated: 19 years
Housed: Massachusetts Correctional Institute, Shirley

I wanted to die. I bought a gram of heroin and planned on going to sleep without waking up. I was in a Florida State Prison and everyone there felt the same. I never knew rest. During the day we kept on point for other cons and at night the guards would get you. I felt like I was living in hell. I lashed out at everyone becoming what prison said I should be.

After violence filled days and years in solitary confinement, I was shipped out of state to the federal system on some “diesel therapy.” New York, Oklahoma, Colorado and a few other stops until I was dumped off at Florida State Prison in Raiford. I stabbed a guy over a debt he didn’t pay, so they stuck me on Death Row, in the ‘disciplinary for violence’ section without being sentenced to die. I waited for the guard to finish count and set up my heroin shot that would drop an elephant; just as I was about to stick the needle in my arm, my neighbor knocked on the bars and asked me for a battery to light a smoke.

I never spoke to this guy before, but after a five-minute conversation, I learned his name was Billy and he was waiting on a death sentence. He had been there twenty years. I asked him why he was still fighting and he said “I refuse to be the state’s entertainment” and told me how the guards would almost throw a party every time one of the Death Row inmates died.

I never told him what I was up to but hearing his story got some wheels turning in my head. I flushed the rig and dope that night and from that point on I worked on myself. I’m doing about as good as someone in my position could. I am in a program to train dogs for other veterans so hopefully they won’t make the same choices I did.

I finally made it to a medium-security prison after eight years in segregation and although I do have a lot of time left I’m hoping that will change. Everything else has!
PS: Oh yeah, Billy. This is Pit, if you read this then I want to thank you. Way back then – you changed my life and I doubt you knew it!

Keiyo, 43

Keiyo, 43

Stories

Keiyo 1

Untitled document – 2022-01-28T163342.361

Keiyo 4

Keiyo 7

Keiyo 6

Keiyo 2

Meet Keiyo…

…Twenty one years in prison has been extremely challenging and difficult. I’ve still been able to achieve a clear and much needed defined view of who I am and what my true purpose in life really is.

Incarcerated: 21 years
Housed: Stafford Creek Corrections Center, Aberdeen, Washington

The best teacher for me has always been experience. I can remember when I was a young boy, I always had to learn things from experience. I guess you could say that I was one of those kids who had to actually touch the fire in order to understand the definition of the word ‘hot’.

Now thinking back on a very unfortunate event that took place over 21 years ago, I’m finally able to forgive myself. I can fully understand the magnitude of my previous state of ignorance. It caused me to be an instrument of hurt and destruction to so many, including myself. As much as I dislike the mere thought of having spent the past 21 years in prison, I can honestly say now, those years haven’t at all been wasted.

They have been extremely challenging and difficult throughout. I’ve been able to achieve a clear and much needed defined view of who I am and my true purpose in life. I understand that none of us are born into a perfect world, but for those of us that were born into and raised in what appeared to be darkness without any signs of guidance or light, we can experience, learn, grow and change for the better. That’s exactly what I’ve done.

Gene, 53

Gene, 53

Stories

Meet Gene…

“I met Steve, who had volunteered for a prison program that paired up victims and assailants as part of a rehabilitation process. Within the short three months that Steve and I conversed, he gave me a new lens to view the world with too, and I will always be grateful for his generosity in helping me understand the difference between independence and interdependent living.”

Incarcerated: 10 years

Housed: Jefferson City Correctional Center, Missouri

Bob Dylan once described the difference between independence and interdependence to his friend Hunter S. Thompson, with the aid of his guitar. He played a G note and said, “with that note, you can set a tone,” then he strummed a G chord, and said, “with those three notes played together, you create harmony.” 

When I met Steve, he had PTSD. Being the victim of a violent crime was the reason got his suffering. Steve’s front teeth were knocked out by the butt of an AK-47, a weapon being used to rob a bank. Steve and his youngest son were there to deposit money the boy had earned delivering papers into a savings account for the boy. 

“I met Steve, who had volunteered for a prison program that paired up victims and assailants as part of a rehabilitation process. Within the short three months that Steve and I conversed, he gave me a new lens to view the world with too, and I will always be grateful for his generosity in helping me understand the difference between independence and interdependent living.”

For the next six years, Steve was a man who felt as if he were standing in quicksand. His life was fueled by the need to maximize the safety net around his family and impose a discipline upon them that he did not understand or find it possible to adhere to. Every day was a struggle to breathe.

One day he came upon a book called “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey that he said altered his dysfunctional life. It gave him a new lens to view the world. He said he had found a foothold that eventually freed him from the psychological trap that he so long been mired in.

That’s about the time I met Steve, who had volunteered for a prison program that paired up victims and assailants as part of a rehabilitation process. Within the short three months that Steve and I conversed, he gave me a new lens to view the world. I will always be grateful for his generosity in helping me understand the difference between independence and interdependent living. As Redd Greene used to say: “We’re all in this together, I’m rooting for ya!”

Read Gene's Poetry
Jeffery, 59

Jeffery, 59

Longer Stories From the Cell

The Word tells us that we are never alone, and through the current events of the day it surely could have felt like it.

Dear Family and Friends, 

It is my prayer that the Lord keep us and guide us as we enter into the dawn of another year. Let us shed the past as if an old coat and go strengthened and invigorated into a new day. Amen. 

Would you allow me a moment to say thank you all for your love and encouragement as the time served just keeps going? Many of you are saying that the time is winding down and in that hope we keep pressing on. October of The New Year would bring the 23rd year and you all have been a part of this journey and again, thank you so much for your sacrifice’s and the spirit that dwells within that you so unselfishly share this way inside the razor topped fences and prison walls. 

How do we move forward through the past few years? Time and events that remain lingering with no end in sight and the rhetoric changes daily while remaining the same. The line of division appears to grow at such an unprecedented rate and the world growingly left in turmoil. How do we smile when the clouds seem to just keep rolling along? “FINALLY, MY brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is save” [Philippians 3:1] 

If we only look at what has happened in our lives, in the world over the previous year[s] we could just continue in that same cycle of loss and misery. Thank God for those who have stuck by; those who keep giving words of encouragement while even their situation is often fare more bleak than is for us sitting in prison. You give such strength that is holding me up and pushes me through those moments when I am down and hurting. So it is that I strive daily to be that better man, a more mature individual and take responsibility, hold myself accountable. 

“If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 3:11-14 KJV] 

The word informs us that there is not one of who is free from sin; we all have fallen and come short of the glory of God. Though I can think of several people I admire that I don’t thing would fit into that category, however, the Lord knows all of who we are no matter what we may reveal to others. For the Lord has spoken, Amen. 

The part of being in prison is the punishment for the crimes committed and it was intended that while here undergo a time of rehabilitation. To commit ourselves to change mentally in that we would not reoffend or commit another violation against society. In the current times of corrections or just the way of life is in the world today, we must attain that elusive “rehabilitation” ourselves utilizing the programs offered; developing a better social and work ethic where there may not have been one prior to the incarceration. 

Another way or a very integral part of rehabilitation is taking responsibility for the offenses charged against us. Often forgetting how we can be so quick to point fingers at others for some offense against us and yet think it not robbery to deprive another of that which we as men, as adults are supposed to do and be. Now we cry for the children left behind, those strong women who loved us even as the little boys we were. 

The scripture reads in part, if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. That means to me that I must do whatever it takes to rise from that which held me captive in my past. Thank God for his grace  and mercy, Amen. 

“But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. Fight the good fight, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.” [I Timothy 6:11-12 KJV] 

The Word tells us that we are never alone, and through the current events of the day it surely could have felt like it. The world quarantined and left isolated in the home, not much different than being confined in a jail cell and no one committed a crime, so to speak…but we made it, you all have made it out there to keep pressing forward in life. A good man has told me on several occasions, “you made it through the yesterday to wind up in the today you are grumbling about”. By the grace and mercy of Almighty God we have arrived in our today so let us not grumble and find the comfort, love and that joy of serving the Lord who has not left us and has brought us this far. Yes, we have lost family and friends, some are still here and battling various issues with health, finances. Let us remember, trouble don’t last always, Amen. I love you and thank you all for holding me accountable. To God be the glory, now and forever.  

“Now, we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, conform the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you”[Thessalonians 5:14-18] 

Let us pray: 

I surrender, Lord God, we come before You in this season of closing out the past and entering a New Year. A season of forgiveness and purpose. We thank You Father for being with us during the difficult times and for holding us through when we were not sure on what the next moment would bring. We hold Your love ever present as we see that You have not left us, nor forsake us as Your Word tells us. 

Thank You Father for those who have stayed by our side and we give love to those who have gone on ahead of us. We lift up those who have had it a lot rougher than we who sit within the confines of a prison; and for those who are in perhaps another type of prison mentally. 

Lord, we pray that the days that are yet to come be full of joy and love and happiness. We ask that You watch over the families of those in prison and for those who are sick and shut in. We pray for the church body and seek to help them in ways the world may not be able to do for them. Keep us O Lord. Give us the strength to do Your will in these difficult times and please forgive us of any thought word or deed that is not of Your will in our lives. We pray this and all unspoken utterances in Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

In His Love, 

Jeffrey

Read Jeffery's Poetry

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