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Tam, 43

Tam, 43

Stories

Meet Tam…

“Mr. Brown never judged me.”

Tam, 43

Incarcerated: 20 years

Housed: San Quentin State Prison, San Quentin, California.

I met Mr. Brown at the RJ Donovan Correctional Facility in San Diego. He was a correctional officer. He turned out to be one of the most positively influential male figures in my life. Mr. Brown was my work supervisor at the prison clinic. He was an older African American with a deep southern drawl from Texas. Somehow, he’d held onto that accent even after over 30 years in California. He was a charming, funny, inviting person who always smiled warmly for staff and the incarcerated alike. Still, he especially had a soft spot for the young female nurses. He was a huge flirt. For the first few months after meeting him, we had a cordial and professional relationship, talking mostly as a courtesy and to get work done. One night, he worked overtime in my housing unit. As he was doing the inmate count to make sure no one had escaped, he stopped in front of my door, looking into my tiny cell through the glass window in the door, and listened to me playing guitar and singing a song. He tapped on my window, catching my attention, and asked what song I was singing. I answered that it was something I had written. The next day at work, Mr. Brown initiated a more personal conversation than usual. We started talking about music we liked. He expressed that he enjoyed hearing me sing and was surprised that an Asian loved R&B and soul music. (Apparently, he thought Asians only listened to bamboo flute music from a kung fu movie.) It turned out that despite differences in race and being on different sides of the wall, an officer and a prisoner, we both loved Al Green, Albert King (the best King) and, of course, Marvin Gaye! Over the next few years, he shared about his life with me. I learned that he grew up in Texas, joined the Navy, and about his wife, Gail, and his kids. I shared with him my experiences of growing up in a domestically violent home, my mother abandoning me when I was 8, joining a gang to have a place to sleep, as well as the irrational reasons I had for attempting to take another young man’s life when I was 22 years old.

Mr. Brown never judged me. He encouraged and guided me by sharing his experiences of the good and bad choices he’d made as a young man and songs and lyrics he felt were relevant to how I was feeling. I looked forward to talking and laughing every day with this Ol’Man. I eventually dropped enough points to get transferred to a lower-level security prison. Mr. Brown retired shortly after. Whenever I hear Bobby Blue Bland, Mr. Brown’s favorite singer, or a Marvin Gaye song, I think about Mr. Brown. I am still surprised and eternally grateful for music opening the door to this unlikely friendship that influenced my maturity during one of the most difficult times of my life. 

Side note: The name of the song Mr. Brown heard me sing that night was “Wish You Knew”. I also wrote another song, Brutal Love, about Mr. Brown and his wife. Both songs can be found on my album titled “I’ll Write Myself a Love Song”, which is available on SoundCloud or Spotify. My other Album, “Over The Phone”, is also available on both platforms.

https://open.spotify.com/album/2T4aCI8szxPZBzw2L5NEZm?si=1lnx8X09RZ-XiKHg5W4A5Q

https://on.soundcloud.com/w4Wgi

https://open.spotify.com/album/7hHmH8x31K4OrdmH8Ie1AT?si=SlkmmyhCRhimCbTZYmjaDA

Khiem, 41

Khiem, 41

Stories

Meet Khiem..

“Food is the most important tool to connect me to my feelings and memories and to help me with my loneliness.”

Khiem, 41

Incarcerated: 11 years

Housed: San Quentin

Today I made something which I call an egg ball, a version of the traditional food which I really love to eat, especially when it is raining outside. I would stay in the house enjoying a steamed rice bowl with this egg ball. The original version is called “Mắm chưng” in Vietnamese. It is made with dried fish, egg, black mushroom, and pork. In prison I don’t have those, so I modified it with egg powder and called it egg ball. This is good for two people with steam rice and soy sauce or sriracha hot sauce. To the cooks, please go to a Vietnamese restaurant and ask for “Mắm chưng” and try it at least once 🙂

 

Ingredients

5 strips black fungus (dried wood ear mushroom)

7 oz. bean vermicelli

4 eggs

1 chili flavor instant ramen seasoning packet

1 tsp fish sauce

1 3.5-oz. tin mackerel or sardines packed in oil

2 Tbsp prepared bacon bits

2 Tbsp fried shallot

1-2 Tbsp dried shrimp (dragonfly brand 3.5 oz preferred)

1 ¼”-thick slice of hard cheese, crumbled

Steamed rice, soy sauce and sriracha, for serving

 

Instructions 

Place the black fungus and bean vermicelli in separate bowls and cover each with warm water. Let sit for at least 5 minutes.Rinse the black fungus with clean water, pat dry and mince. 

Place the vermicelli in a strainer.

Set a heat-proof bowl inside a large saucepan or stockpot. Add at least two inches of water to the pan, but don’t fill it to more than ½ inch below the lip of the bowl. Remove the bowl, cover the pan, and bring the water to a boil over high heat.

In the meantime, place the strained vermicelli in a heatproof bowl. Crack the eggs into the bowl, add the ramen seasoning and fish sauce, and lightly beat with a fork to break up the eggs. Add the mackerel or sardines and mix well – the mixture should appear muddy.

Add the black fungus, bacon bits, fried shallot, dried shrimp and cheese into the egg mixture and stir to combine. 

Once the water is boiling, reduce the heat to low and carefully set the bowl in the pan. Cover the pan and let steam for 30 to 45 minutes. The longer the eggs steam, the harder they get. Serve over steamed rice and seasoned with soy sauce and sriracha.

Stuffed Pepper Variations: No eggs are needed – instead, cut the tops off of two large bell peppers and remove the seeds and membrane. Save the tops of the peppers. Follow the recipe as above up until straining the vermicelli. In a bowl, mix all of the ingredients (minus the eggs) together. Divide the mixture evenly between the two peppers and place the tops back on. Proceed with steaming the peppers by placing them in the bowl set inside the pan and cook, covered, for 30 to 45 minutes.

 

Aaron, 33

Aaron, 33

Stories

Meet Aaron..

“Taking care of puppies is like taking care of children; you have to be mature, responsible, and available at all times outside of being able to train puppies.”

Aaron, 33

Incarcerated: 9 years

Housed: San Quentin

I’ve been in San Quentin for three years now. When I heard they would have a dog program, I quickly applied for a transfer and was fortunate enough to be accepted. My dog’s name is Artemis, but I call him “Artie” for short, and he came to San Quentin at four months old. Artie came from Canine Companions, a service dog program that raises puppies for a year to become service dogs for someone in need. Being in this program has taught me compassion, awareness, and accountability. Taking care of these puppies is like taking care of children; you have to be mature, responsible, and available at all times outside of being able to train puppies. This has also helped residents like myself and staff communicate more normally versus the “us vs. them” old communication style. Canine Companions is an agent of change in San Quentin, and I’m glad to be a part of it. We have great camaraderie among all the trainers, staff, and San Quentin. When people see the dogs, it’s a morale booster for everyone, and I want to help advance this program in any way I can.

 

Michael, 71

Michael, 71

Stories

Meet Michael..

“I believe children should learn how to cook: bake bread, cookies, and simple cakes using a humble kitchen stove. Both boys and girls should learn it. Learning to cook and bake gives children a sense of self-esteem and pride in their accomplishments: I’m so smart, I can learn anything!”

Michael, 71

Incarcerated: 10 years

Housed: San Quentin

Fatty Meat in a Sour Sauce

Ingredients:

3 lbs Fatty meat

1 cup Sour fruit like cranberry  juice 

1 tsp Cumin powder

1 tsp Masala spice

Salt, peppers, garlic to taste.

 

Cooking:

Cut sour fruit like plums. Cook them for a few minutes in a stainless pot adding some water or cranberry juice.

Add cumin, spices, salt, pepper, garlic (minced), and stir.

The sour sauce is ready. Add fatty meat, bring to boil, and cook on low heat, hardly boiling, until well done.

You can use pork chops, shoulders, ribs, belly – any part of a pig.

You can use brisket, which is a cow belly, shoulder, ribs, but no rump which is hind legs. 

Chicken legs or quarters can be cooked in cranberry-mix juice. Ducks are really delicious when cooked completely submerged in juice.

Cranberry jam mixed with water makes a good sour sauce.

For a very quick dinner you can use store-bought ground meat. It has enough fat to qualify as fatty meat.

Just add a couple of eggs, mix, form meatballs, and cook in a sour sauce for 15-20 minutes. 

Eggs, or its protein, keep the meat balls together, prevent from falling apart, and keeps meat juice inside.

If meat is too fat, cook it in sour sauce for about 30 minutes.

Separately, cook lean meat like beef rump in a small amount of water for about 30 minutes.

Grind both meats, mix them, add eggs, form meat balls, and cook in the sour sauce another 10-15 minutes.
You will discover that good meat is fat meat, and a sour sauce is sent from heaven. 

Serve with rice on a side, or bread.

Meat cooked in a sour sauce has even a better taste the next day because the flavor goes inside the meat.

 

Dale, 67

Dale, 67

Stories

Meet Dale..

“I thought I knew the pain of being alone, but I didn’t really.”

Dale, 67

Incarcerated: 15 years

When I was watching the show, Hachi: A Dog’s Tale, I cried- a hard cry. I didn’t give it much thought and I actually hid it from my cellie. A week later, it came on again and I told my cellie I was watching it. He said you cried the last time, and I said – at least I can still cry! I watched it, and yup, I cried again. The story is about a dog who waits for his human for years to come back from work, where his human has a heart attack and dies. This dog waited every single day for his human to come home until he died. The next day I was thinking, why am I crying over this show? I’m getting teary-eyed just writing about it. I asked myself why this affected me so much?! So I applied this to my life, looking for that elusive, why? I considered my life, I am the oldest of five, and eight years older than my first sister. For eight years, I was the star in everyone’s life and when my siblings were born that was taken away. Feeling unloved, I searched for love outside the family. My father was in the Air Force, and we moved every three or four years, so I looked at this. Many more whys come up. Long-term friendships are unknown to me. This dog’s longing for love typifies my longing. I thought I knew the pain of being alone, but I didn’t really. I considered that because I couldn’t get the affection the way I wanted it, I closed off. I find it hard to accept the love and acceptance others have for me. I don’t know how, but I know this now, and I am trying to accept others’ concerns for me and learning how.   

 

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