The District Attorney, a woman, spared my life by showing me mercy, mercy I did not deserve.
At the age of 34, I was sentenced to 26 years for a violent sexual assault. Although my body was physically present in a packed courtroom filled with family and friends, my mind was somewhere else, subjected to its own reality. I sat there full of emotions. Everything that had transpired was too difficult to process. A thought occurred: “Why did I do it?” My thoughts shifted to my family. I imagined how hard this must be on them. I pictured their faces. This sent a wave of emotion surging through my body.
At that very moment, I stopped pretending to be the tough guy I portrayed in the public eye and allowed myself to be vulnerable. Tears began to fall. I was in total denial, disbelief, and had lost all hope. I became suicidal and wanted to die. But God had plans for my life, plans I could not fathom or comprehend at the time. Plans that would lead to mercy, mercy I did not deserve.
The evidence against me was overwhelming. There was no denying the despicable crimes I had committed. The maximum punishment carried a sentence of 243 years. The state had a slam dunk case and could have easily taken me to trial, convicted me, and forced me to spend the rest of my life in prison.
The district attorney in Marin County was known for being ruthless and spared no one when it came to prosecuting sex offenders. The majority of cases were prosecuted to the full extent of the law. But in my case, I was offered a deal. The D.A. was lenient and chose not to punish me as harshly as she could have.
As I signed the plea deal, I stared the D.A. down. I was furious—mad at the world, to be exact—and through my anger, I failed to understand the significance of what she had just done for me. The District Attorney, a woman, spared my life by showing me mercy, mercy I did not deserve.
