That’s what being loved can do—it can restore someone at any age.
When asked to share a memory of what someone said or did and how it impacted me, my mind immediately goes to the feeling I had—and still feel—after reading the letter of support to the board of Prison Terms written by my cousin, Mrs. Shaun Louis. There are no words, no diction, no phrase in any language that could describe the impact that letter had on me.
In many ways, I’m no longer excessively perturbed by my unproductive position in life. Being at an unfortunate, unsuccessful position has revealed many great lessons, and once my eyes and mind opened, one of the most profound lessons I learned was that I’m a product of my own doing. My circumstances reflect my thoughts, as does my contentment (or lack of it). I am wounded and damaged by my wrong decisions, I felt stepped on, disrespected, slandered, and discarded like a used diaper by the very people who came from the same womb. This filled my heart with spite, hate, hurt, and confusion, making me feel worthless.
Focusing on what others thought of me distracted me from how I felt about myself, leading to negative energy and mental, emotional, and physical harm. I kept seeking approval, love, and validation from people who only showed me contempt. I couldn’t believe my own siblings could harbor such intense hatred, leaving me feeling completely alone in the loneliest place on earth.
For over a decade, I lived in this space, until the presence of my cousin Shaun and my sister Tisha brought revelation. Their love made me dig deep, recognize my self-worth, and realize that I am the prize—no matter my past mistakes. I now know I am bigger than my worst deed. Shaun, it’s your words that forced me to acknowledge my self-worth, something no character assassination can destroy. You and Tisha have shown me true, unconditional love. It’s your presence in my life that gives me strength and makes me strive to be better.
Now, I not only search for the goodness in myself but in others as well. I no longer harbor ill feelings toward the four siblings who slandered and abandoned me. That energy still exists, but it contrasts with my own. That’s what being loved can do—it can restore someone at any age. I just hope to repay you, Shaun, and Tisha.
