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Michael's Taylor Made German Chocolate Bars

Maniac Mike | California Health Care Facility
This recipe is ingenuity-based but backed by a cooking degree from Le Cordon Bleu in San Francisco, California. You’ll need a hot pot with a food insert and a 28-quart storage box.
Servings 16 bars

Equipment

  • 1 hot pot
  • 28-quart Storage Box

Ingredients
  

  • 40 Grandma's Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • 8 oz jar Cornerstone or Boston's Best Coffee
  • 4 oz bag Boston's Best French Vanilla Coffee
  • 8 packets Nestlé Cocoa Instant Mix
  • 4 packages Mini Cupcakes (Lil’ Dutch Maid)
  • 10 National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Candy Bars
  • 40 Birthday Cake Kit Kats
  • 1 bag Hershey’s Nuggets (Dark and Milk Chocolate)
  • 1 jar Ground Cinnamon
  • 1 bag Giant Mint Life Savers (crushed)
  • 20 Giant Iced Honey Buns
  • 4 jars (18 oz) Home Style Crunchy Peanut Butter
  • 2 12.2 cup vented bowls
  • 4 jars (15 oz) Caramel Latte Creamer
  • 8 packages Coconut Cream Powder

Instructions
 

  • Get out a 28-quart storage box. In a hot pot, add 2 oz water and insert the food sleeve. Mix in 20 packs of Nestlé cocoa, 2 tablespoons Colombian coffee, and 1 tablespoon French vanilla coffee. Stir constantly until it forms a syrup consistency.
  • Add Hershey’s Nuggets 4 at a time into the chocolate mix until 16 are melted down.
  • Open 10 pac Grandma’s Chocolate Chip Cookies (2 per pack) and lay them chip-side up on the bottom of the storage box. Coat the box with 10–20 drops of olive oil using a rag. Carefully pour the chocolate mixture over the cookies. Crush 1 package of Mint Creme Cookies and sprinkle on top. This is the first layer, about 1 inch thick. Place a fan on medium speed to help cool the layer.
  • In one vented bowl, pour in Caramel Latte Creamer, 4 tablespoons Colombian coffee, 1 jar peanut butter, and 4 oz hot water (160°F). Stir until smooth.In the second bowl, mix ½ jar Caramel Latte Creamer, 2 bags Coconut Cream Powder (6 oz), 2 spoonfuls French vanilla coffee, 1 spoon Colombian coffee, and 4 oz hot water. Stir until blended, then fold in 1 jar peanut butter.While both bowls are still warm, stir in 5 National Lampoon candy bars and 2 spoonfuls of ground cinnamon. Crush 1 package Lil’ Dutch Maid Mint Creme Cookies and 10 Kit Kat Birthday Cake bars per bowl. Fold contents from the first bowl onto the cooled chocolate/cookie layer. Cover and cool with a fan on high until the 2-inch-thick layer is sticky to the touch.
  • Repeat the cookie layer with 10 more packs of Grandma’s Chocolate Chip Cookies.Prepare a new chocolate/coffee mix in the hot pot as before. Pour mixture evenly over the cookies from left to right and bottom to top.Prepare a booster mix: 4 packs Coconut Cream Powder, 4 spoons Colombian coffee, 8 spoons French vanilla coffee, and 2 oz hot water. Stir in remaining National Lampoon bars. Pour this mixture counterclockwise from the 12 o’clock position.
  • Crush another package of Mint Creme Cookies and 18 more Kit Kats. Layer as before, mixing crumbled cookies and Kit Kats.
  • Fold in contents of the remaining bowl and smooth with the back of a spoon or stiff ID card. Crush half a bag of Life Savers and sprinkle on top to form a 3-inch-thick layer.Repeat Steps 5 and 6 to complete the bars.

Garnish

  • Add crumbled Kit Kats, mint cookies, half a bag of peppermints, and a teaspoon of sugar on top. Cover and place in the freezer to cool. Cut into bars 8” long, 2” wide, and 3” thick. Yields 16 bars.

Optional Glaze

  • To personalize, heat 2 oz water in the hot pot. Add remaining Coconut Cream Powder, 3 spoons Colombian coffee, 2 spoons French vanilla coffee, and 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon. Stir until a liquid glaze forms. Drizzle initials or “I.M.C.B.” on each bar. Let cool, cushion the top, and cover with a cotton towel to finish.

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