Socially Distant by Kelli

Written by: Kelli

To compare yourself to another would be considered to know yourself well. 

To compare to all and claim to be the same as even the most vile,  would be to know God.

Straddling the fence being neither hot nor cold but comfortable in our sin, actually just leaves us in denial of discomfort. 

It really is to straddle that fence for so long. 

Till we grow weary and jump down from the fence to one side or the other, only to find enlightenment a few feet away for so many exhausting life times. 

Seven days it took to create the world. 

Life times trying to destroy it. Warnings of war, famine, disease, climate change, yet the earth still proceeds us.

Don’t tell my children the truth. 

They’re already spoiled by the lies. 

Separated by social distancing to survive, upset because they’ve been socially distant for longer than I care to remember. 

Father forgive me.

No! Tell them the truth! Tell them the earth is still alive and my own parents’ abandonment, abuse, and neglect gave me the passion I needed to join the war! 

How I yelled out “kill them” in front of my children, now my children are militarized and conditioned to kill them. Yet now that I am older and wiser I can not stop them. 

Father forgive me. 

Tread lightly, for the streets are cobbled by the bones of the fools before you, the streets names written in their blood. I couldn’t be alone in my addiction. I needed a friend, now she’s gone from me forever. Father, please forgive me.

So I raged, pointing fingers at you, and you, and you until there was no one left around to blame.

Now I find myself alone and silenced and consider myself enlightened.

I jump back on the fence, after all it’s all I know.

People pay a lot of money for that shit. What is the value of your soul? 

If you can tell me, its only because you’ve already sold it. 

Priceless? 

Priceless is only a word we use when we know we can get a little more for it somewhere else.

It’s sick. We’re all sick. We all need healing. And if you say don’t, you need it the most and will take the longest. It’s hard to heal someone in denial.

Diagnosed by someone sicker than myself. By someone who chose to focus on being ill.

What if I said there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re perfectly alright? 

You wouldn’t want to be my friend if I told you to toughen up, you’re really just fine.

Of course, then, I’d have to admit I’m fine, too, and come back down off the fence.

Receive more inspiring stories and news from incarcerated people around the world.