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Shawn, 36

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Meet Shawn…

I put out presents for my parents too with all three of our names on them. When everyone went to sleep that night, I set up the plastic tree with everyone’s presents underneath. My brothers woke up the next morning to their presents and I was the only one who didn’t have one. But that wasn’t true. My mother came out and my brothers thanked her. She looked at me and whispered “Thank you” and for me, that was my present, seeing everyone happy.

Shawn, 36
Incarcerated: 16 years
Housed: Trenton, New Jersey

I was 11 when my father got sent to jail. My mother wasn’t working while raising three of us kids while her husband was in jail. My birthday is December 22nd, with no money, I knew I wasn’t getting anything for Christmas and neither were my brothers. So I thought of ways to make a few dollars shoveling snow, cleaning peoples cars or any quick job because I still wanted my family to experience Christmas. I could tell as Christmas approached my mom felt downhearted because she wasn’t going to be able to get us presents. So I went out on my own after school and did some snow shoveling to clear people’s driveways and walkways. I make about $20 per house. When I made $160, I went to the local shopping plaza around the corner from my house. I bought my brothers and mother Christmas gifts and a small plastic tree and hid them in our basement. While everybody was busy on Christmas eve, I went into the basement and wrapped my brother’s presents. But on the labels I put “From Mom and Dad.” I put out presents for my parents too with all three of our names on them. When everyone went to sleep that night, I set up the plastic tree with everyone’s presents underneath. My brothers woke up the next morning to their presents and I was the only one who didn’t have one. But that wasn’t true. My mother came out and my brothers thanked her. She looked at me and whispered “Thank you” and for me, that was my present, seeing everyone happy. Until this day, only my mother and I know what transpired that day. At such a young age, I’m glad I was able to do that for my family. It’s one of my fondest childhood memories.

Dawan, 27

Dawan, 27

Meet Dawan…

Despite my circumstances, the biggest contributing factor to my self-reflection, self-rehabilitation and hopeful outlook on life is Islam.

Dawan, 27
Incarcerated: 9 yrs
Housed: Trenton, New Jersey

I often hear from older guys that I have an old soul. I would assume this is a direct reflection of the extensive hours I spent with the elders in my childhood. I dealt with anger problems throughout my childhood. Looking back, I did not know how to communicate how I was feeling, nor did I understand why I was feeling that way. Anger was the outcome. I witnessed many of my family members abuse and sell drugs, and face a fatal end due to overdoses. I now understand the financial difficulties, the strained relationships, the inconsistent relationship with my father due to his recidivism, and the struggle and hopelessness that impacted my behavior. It pushed me down the same destructive path. I had many interventions and heard how smart and talented I was and how I should break the cycle. My most prominent influence was my 7th grade teacher Marcus Anthony. He saw my potential and dedicated his time and money to change my life. He drove to my house, he would write letters, and was always willing to go the extra mile to make sure I had a fighting chance at life to beat the odds. One of my biggest regrets in life is letting him down, regardless of the fact that I have maintained my innocence with overwhelming evidence to prove it. He foresaw my future if I was to return home to Newark, New Jersey, and sad to say, he was right. I haven’t spoken to Mr. Anthony in several years, but the love and appreciation I have for what he has done for me despite my current circumstances, is for life. I hope he is in good health and good spirits, and I look forward to one day showing him that his efforts were not in vain and his time was not wasted. The life lessons he taught are forever internalized, and the work ethic he instilled in me can be seen through some of the things I have accomplished – in arguably one of the worst places in the country, prison. In here, I became a barber, I speak multiple languages, I am an artist, a poet, an inventor, and I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree in sociology. Despite my circumstances, the biggest contributing factor to my self-reflection, self-rehabilitation and hopeful outlook on life is Islam.

Shakeil “Shak”, 42

Shakeil “Shak”, 42

Meet Shak…

To know our movement influenced the next generation of our family to carry the torch, filled both of us with pride and joy.

Shakeil “Shak”, 42
Incarcerated: 15 years
Housed: New Jersey State Prison, Trenton

I come from a tight knit family and grew up under the mantra Family 1st, which meant you were to put the family before any and everything else. So in my mid-twenties, when I decided to take rap seriously, I linked up with my cousin Realz to make it a family affair. Our chemistry was a natural, seamless fit. We performed at numerous night clubs and local bars exhibiting our showmanship. We’re both genetically gifted and musically inclined, but still took the time to develop and polish our talent. Together we formed the rap duo, “Blood Cuzinz” and our first mixtape together was titled, Family 1st. In June 2008, we released our debut album Blood Thicker than Water. Shortly after the release of the album, I was charged and arrested for murder. My involvement in this situation disappointed the family for multiple reasons. Our supporters exhausted their blood, sweat, and tears to secure our success and my poor decision making spoiled their efforts. I shattered my cousin’s hopes and dreams of becoming a chart topping rap artist. Recently, I spoke to him and he was delighted to tell me his son, Big Kannonz and my son Sha Bandzz were recording music together. They released a song titled My Sons and referenced the Blood Cuzinz lineage that inspired them to be rap artists. To know our movement influenced the next generation of our family to carry the torch, filled both of us with pride and joy. Everything we contributed to the movement was not for naught.