Hello and love, peace and blessings to you. My story is a story that I believe should be shared. A story of rebirth and discovering peace and purpose. Coming back to San Quentin in 2019 was surreal. My first [and only previous] time home was in 1981. I was 18 years old. In body chains coming from Susanville going straight to North Block Hole. It was like the SHU term is now. Then it was called a maximum B Term.
There were constant screams of rage. All the windows were busted out, it was freezing cold and rain was a constant adversary. Water was rushing down like Niagra Falls from every tier because a few inmates were pretending and must have done it for bitterness’ sake. There were huge sewer rats [I discovered] in combat with feral cats throughout the block with birds flying overhead. But the hate and rage hit me like a force unseen. I was quickly spit on by an Aryan brother and I made him a few promises I truly meant. My hate was no less than his having been the reason I was being placed in the hole. Prison war and violence was mostly ministered by constant racial hatred. Over half of San Quentin was the hole. By the time I was 18 I was a full-fledged card-carrying anti-social maniac. But I could fool you with a gentle smile. Since that time my life in and out the system landed me back in Pelican Bay with a 42 years to life sentence. Life was over. At 2:00am Jan. 5th 2006 I was in a prison cell with my young-un and road puppy Baba Louie. I went to sleep and woke up in a young lady’s [who?] apartment. I was just maxing out watching her paint a picture when her 3 gorgeous cats took off after one another across my feet to the bathroom. She smiled in my eyes and asked me to “check it out, Focus” I walked in the bathroom and the brightest light and most powerful unearthly peace and sustenance [sp?] engulfed me. I was inside of it and I was undone. I wasn’t capable of standing inside this much power and love. The tears came because I was being healed. I quickly knew without ever experiencing this presence before who this was. My DNA knew. I followed that light and it showed me all the journey the last 20 years had taken on. That journey and vision ended with me paroling from San Quentin and doing very specific [Great] things out there.
But that’s a better continuation to maybe be shared later.
Baba-Louie’s feet was dangling from the top bunk [at 3:00am] and he kept saying in earnest “Brah, what’s happening in this cell man?” the Lord is up in this cell Focus” we were two ungodly heathens. He kept saying “Focus I ain’t doing that shit tomorrow Focus.” We were both going to do an act that next day that would throw away the rest of our lives. The creator knew it and instilled hope and healing. That and the second part of this vision has sustained me all this time. In 2019 for the second time in my life I came back to San Quentin. In every way possible this place has made a 180 degree about face. When I came back here in 2019 before the Pandemic all the programs were in full force. Unbelievable! Inconceivable! Young ladies walking around feeling secure and at peace. Some of them have told me [Mt Tamalpais tutors] they love coming here because they can be themselves, and interact with men on a deeper level. Wow! I was running my story by a young lady [math tutor] named Trynn. She said two things that blew me away. She said “Warren!” Don’t you see, San Quentin has been healed on an emotional and spiritual level just like you have.” And just imagine how out of tune we can be. I mean the cats ran to the source of their existence for all the milk and fish they dream of. While we miss out.
Wow…enough said.
Peace.
