But with God’s grace, Anbessa will become one of the biggest brands in the world and maybe, one day, we can work together on a tribute worthy of him.
The Road to Finding My Purpose
Starting with: God, My Wife, and Nipsey Hussle
Black Sam,
I know I’m the last person you want to hear from, but the spirit of God is speaking through me, and I feel compelled to share this message. If we were acting out roles from the Bible, I’d be Saul, until the light from heaven changed everything. That moment came on July 11, 2020, while I was in the hole at San Quentin, cell 238. I was next to Infant Bluccie, aka Blue Cinco.
That morning, I dreamt I was on Sebastopol Road in Santa Rosa with your brother. He said, “Let me take you out to breakfast.” I replied, “We’re in my backyard, how are you going to take me out?” He smiled and said, “I know a spot you don’t know about.” We walked toward my mechanic’s shop. He was right, I’d never seen it before.
At a small mom-and-pop restaurant, a man walked up to Nip and asked to speak with him. Nip said, “Give me a second, I’ll be back.” I watched them walk off and start to fight. Afterward, Nip returned and said, “It’s all good.” We went in, ordered breakfast, and while eating, he told me he’d just bought an apartment complex and wanted me to stay with him. I agreed.
We packed my luggage and drove to some light blue apartments. He showed me to my new place and said, “Get dressed and come to the pool, we’re having a party.” As I walked toward the pool, I heard gunshots. I opened the gate and saw Nip on the ground, covered in blood. The shooter turned and fired at me, so I ran.
People came looking for me, saying your dad, Dawit, wanted to talk. He asked what happened because folks said I was the last one with Nip. I told him everything, but he wasn’t satisfied. He brought me to a room where men were mourning. As I sat next to him, your cousin Adam entered and told us to come outside, thousands of people had gathered for a candlelight vigil.
Outside, I looked up to the sky and there were layers of clouds. There was Nip surrounded by at least a dozen angels and they were in a perfect circle as if they were protecting him, surrounded by a dozen angels in a perfect circle. He was larger than all of them. Only Dawit, the man next to him, and I could see him. Nip locked eyes with me, smiled, and ascended with the angels. I woke up and banged on the wall to wake Infant Bluccie: “I just dreamed Nip was an angel!” He said, “Cuhz, I’m asleep.”
That date July 11, 2020 was exactly one year since my grandmother passed. When I met you and your brother, I had recently lost my mom to cancer. I was lost, confused, and searching for a sign.
I came to the U.S. in 1992 from Sudan. At 12, I was attending a government-funded Eritrean school where all the teachers were veterans. I was a patriot and believed my purpose was to get rich in America and help my country.
In 2003, I met Big U at Corcoran State Prison during a Solitary Confinement term, a year before we were both released. When I heard about your brother, I believed he would put our country on the map. I was eager to meet him, but I placed too many expectations on him and didn’t yet understand his mission. He was ahead of his time.
I remember sitting with him outside the shop on Crenshaw and Slauson, trying to convince him to perform in Eritrea. He said, “The timing and the money gotta be right.” I didn’t get it then. Years later, I saw him on YouTube performing there after Victory Lap, and it finally clicked.
But at the time, I was bitter. I tweeted, “Nip don’t give a f*** about Eritrea or no Eritreans.” Minutes later, he replied, “I forgive you already, bro. I know what it’s like to be broke and without purpose.” That hit me hard. I was broke and without direction.
Fast forward to 2013. I brought Young Buck from G-Unit to Draws for management. We were making moves, and at Summer Jam in NYC, 50 Cent was headlining. I knew Nip would be there. Draws and I saw Nip and Adam getting into it with security, so we leapt over a fence to back them up.
Turns out, they were trying to help the same guy 50’s crew had just beat up. We shook hands, hugged, and I told him, “I’m proud of you.” That was the last time I saw him.
In 2021, I was at California Men’s Colony, on the yard with 1 Shot and Infant Conrad. I had another dream: Nip was playing me new music at the shop. I went to the donut shop and ran into NBA player Josh Smith. He said, “Nip is dead.” I said, “No, he’s at the shop.” But when we went back, it was empty.
Around that time, my wife of 19 years left me. On my birthday, March 13, 2022, I was drinking white lightning nonstop. One night, I dropped to my knees and begged God for help: to get me out of prison, reunite me with my wife, and give me purpose. I promised to never drink again.
Soon after, my wife and I started speaking again. In April 2022, I asked, “What’s your dream?” She replied, “F*** you, you waited 16 years to ask me that!” A week later, she told me she always wanted a clothing line. I said, “Let’s do it.” I could draw and had industry connections.
On April 29, 2022, we documented it all in a composition book and called the brand “Brains and Beauty.” But soon, I had my third dream. Nip had a show in San Diego and asked me to come. At the club, a fight broke out. I jumped in, and Nip pointed at a security guard hiding under a table and said, “You a paid security hiding, but my n**** Yonas got me!”
I woke up and wrote everything down. I called my wife and said I wanted to create a tribute to Nip through her brand. I suggested “Anbessa” the highest honor in Eritrean and Ethiopian culture. It means lion.
I became obsessed, working every day. I kept praying on my knees like a mad scientist chasing meaning. My wife resisted, “You just want to hijack my dream” but I couldn’t ignore the signs.
Dream four came on November 6, 2022 my mother’s 17th anniversary. Nip was sitting on a car hood, talking about The Jacka. I took it as confirmation: I was on the right path.
Months later, we trademarked “Anbessa.” Turns out “Brains and Beauty” was already taken. We poured ourselves into Anbessa and by now, nearly $60K has gone into it. A top attorney is working on my release, thanks to my friend PooBear.
But life brought more trials, my queen started facing health issues. It felt like a race against time to fulfill her dream.
In 2024, I transferred back to San Quentin to be near her. I arrived Feb 14 and was unhappy there. On March 3, I cried thinking of my mother and grandmother. On March 4, I had my fifth and final dream.
In it, I hugged Nip tight and told him how much I loved him. He was scared. I told him about Anbessa and the $250 hoodie. He said, “Damn bro, you brave.” He asked for a hoodie and receipt to help promote it. We went to get one from my wife’s closet.
We walked past my old Ripley Dr. apartment. Then we found a beat-up car, and he drove us down a road dodging monster trucks. I woke up at 3:25 AM crying, grateful I got to say goodbye.
I believe Nip is my guardian angel and someone important in God’s kingdom. The first time I saw him, he was surrounded by angels but larger than them, leading them.
My favorite quote is from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho: “It isn’t what you did in the past, it’s what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future.”
I told my wife I was grateful Nip came to my dreams. She reminded me it was God who sent him.
Sam, I pray you find peace. I’ll never use your brother’s name or image in anything we do with Anbessa. He shed sweat, blood, and tears. I’m not worthy of that honor. But with God’s grace, Anbessa will become one of the biggest brands in the world and maybe, one day, we can work together on a tribute worthy of him.
We’re currently in talks with one of the biggest Afrobeats artists in the world, but I won’t give a percentage of this brand to anyone unless it’s to your family.
I pray this letter brings you some peace. Ermias has risen and still inspires from above. March 13 passed, and I turned 45. Now it’s Easter weekend, and I’m finally telling my truth.
My wife and Rimpau have urged me to do this for years. It’s spiritual warfare out here, this struggle is real. But I’m still standing.
In the words of your brother: The Marathon Continues.
Love and Respect,
Anbessa Lyfe
