This year is when I noticed my self-esteem had reached a level that allowed me to truly be sure of myself. My past struggles with illiteracy had lingered over me throughout every project I took on. However, as I journeyed through my time with Humans of San Quentin, interviewing more and more people, I noticed my fear slowly drifting away. It all started when Diane gave me the opportunity to spread my wings and take on the responsibility of putting together the poetry page.
With that responsibility, I was pushed to face my fears and grow more accountable. I joined the Peer Literacy Mentorship Program and am now training for the Peer Support Specialist Program. I absolutely love it. I give credit to everyone who has supported me along the way, but Diane is the one who first believed in me and gave me a chance to prove myself.
Today, I’m in the process of preparing my very own poetry book. My true calling, I’ve learned, is helping those who are where I once was.
The Place I Used to Be
Sitting in class, lending a helping hand,
Never tired of those
Who are where I’ve been.
A teacher’s aide—
Who, me?
The kid who couldn’t read?
It feels like yesterday
When I entered the seventh grade.
Everybody laughed at me,
Mean people, unfiltered minds,
Laughed, giggled, and singled me out
Because I couldn’t read.
How do I process this?
What does it mean?
How do I learn
When I’m afraid to read?
Right now, this very day,
My pet peeve is awakened
When I read aloud.
As I sat in class,
My self-esteem was tarnished.
Even the pretty girls laughed at me.
The anger,
The fights,
The suspensions,
The whippings—
All because I couldn’t read.
Now, as a teacher’s aide,
I love helping people
In various ways.
I’m not the smartest guy,
I’m not the brightest light,
But I will find the help I need to get it right.
No one should ever be
In the place I used to be.
