I would have never thought in a million years I’d give a huge chunk of my life to the carceral system. Entering the prison system at 18 was difficult. I wasn’t given instructions on how to behave or adapt to the rules and regulations of the institution, which oppressed my free spirit and led me to multiple trips to segregation.
Even though I wasn’t positively guided through my new lifestyle, I eventually found my footing. I finally realized what was important to me and what should be important to the institution: “Rehabilitation.” Education became my priority instead of working on a prison assignment. I don’t receive “good time credit” for going to school or additional time off my sentence for any extra classes or work assignments I participate in.
I would have never thought in a million years I’d give a huge chunk of my life to the carceral system.
Some say being incarcerated doesn’t change you, but it has made a tremendous change in my life. Prior to my incarceration, I was battling between the spiritual world and the non spiritual world. I was disobedient. I thought I could live my way and the Lord’s way, but that took a turn for the worst.
On the night of May 5, 2016, I made a detrimental decision that changed my life and my kids’ lives as well. A life was taken, and I would be taken from my kids as well. Something also felt strange about that night. Although I had just been a part of something so horrible, I felt peace. There was this calm, comforting, tight hold on me. It was like I was in a bubble where nothing and no worries could enter. It was weird in a good way.
Today I am humble. God was preparing me for the good and the bad.
Last year I lost my baby boy to gun violence, but through the grace of God I found peace in my endurance. Hallelujah! I found myself being receptive to life, love, and possibilities.
I am reaching my highest potential, and as of now I am a Campbell University college student. I just finished my first semester, and I made the Dean’s List.
Therefore, being incarcerated has changed me. I’m walking with God because His way is perfect, and I trust Him with all my heart.
My heart is full, and I am at peace.
In the end, I’m not just doing this for me, but I’m doing this for my kids and the two grandsons I now have. Most importantly, my baby boy. I know he’s smiling at me.
My goal is to be a success story for my children and a blessing to others.
I would like to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings.
Peace and Grace and many Blessings.
At what cost can a person in Illinois present change?
What does holding a person accountable mean in the criminal justice system?
When will enough be enough?
