We are real humans! I am a mother of 4 beautiful children. I was clean for 18 years, from the first moment I found out I was pregnant. It seemed all of the past traumas from my childhood were over at the best time of my life.
As my children were born and growing, I became very overprotective. I refused to allow things to happen to them which happened to me when I was a child. I found out that they were going through things, and I became super overprotective.
My oldest skipped school one day with a friend and became a missing person. I hunted for her and reported her missing to police. They were not helping. I found who had her. They dropped my 14 year old girl down a road in the dark. I never forgot.
When she turned 16, she met a guy that was not good. Turning 17, she ran off with him. I hunted him and beat him. I thought they would finally be free.
A few days later, I ran into one of the people that had taken her. All my anger, and the fact I had started using meth after 18 years sobriety, along with opiates, clogged my mind. My anger unleashed in a very improper way, something I can never take back and that I have to live with the rest of my life. One life ended, and I went to prison for a 30 year sentence.
I took accountability for my crime. My children lost their mother, and the process of rebuilding that relationship in prison was very hard. I am close to my children now, get visits, and we talk on the phone and through emails.
Since I came to prison, I learned how to control my emotions and anger. I have an Associate degree in college, graduated the dog program, and many courses. I have kept busy repairing my trauma, my anger, and learning to love again. Finding God again was the biggest help.
I will see the board in 3 years and hopefully be home in 5. I will never walk in prison doors again unless it is to help others. God gets us through, and we are forgiven. We just have to have faith in God and know Jesus died for our sins.
My best memories are the births of my 4 wonderful children.
