We are all human, regardless of where we come from or why we are here.
I am one of only ten women serving Life Without Parole in New York State. My life has been filled with massive trauma, and because I didn’t reach out and didn’t have resources, I was afraid to speak up. I took a man’s life. It weighs heavily on my mind and heart every day, with deep sorrow that I hurt a family, my family and community. I take full accountability for my actions in that fateful moment and still wish it were different. My life before is no excuse.
I did not grow up a physical or violent person. I didn’t fight in school or with any of my siblings. I was always on the receiving end in my relationships, but I did not defend myself until 2009, ultimately putting me in prison for the rest of my life.
I am nonbinary, a parent, grandparent, still my mom’s daughter, and a sibling. I strive to make a positive impact on the lives of others so they won’t end up where I am today, fighting for a chance to once again be a part of society.
I am not my crime. I am so much more.
I face a lot of struggles here, many similar to the things I dealt with before my crime. The difference now is that I have tools to cope and to stop triggers or toxic relationships that stand in the way of my success. I strive for continued healing and growth while navigating the prison walls in which I am confined. Even when faced with adversity, I show those around me dignity, even if it is not returned. We are all human, regardless of where we come from or why we are here. Everyone deserves humanity and a chance to be seen for more than one moment in their life.
I miss the simplicity of life, living in the country and being with family. I love being outdoors, riding my motorcycle, and traveling. My home once labeled boxes of photographs I took all over the country. I miss taking random pictures of random places, meeting new people, and discovering God’s beauty.
I am serving life without the possibility of parole.
