My prayer is for courage to be with me as I complete changing everything in my life.
I’m a recovering alcoholic. For this I am grateful to AA and my position of Sergeant at Arms. I went on to become the presiding Chairman of Alcoholics Anonymous at Salinas Valley State Prison. I consider this to be one of my greatest accomplishments. I also received seven rehabilitative achievement awards for completing a family parenting group and two narcotics anonymous groups. My AA sponsors expressed praise and approval. They congratulated me, showing me their sympathetic pleasure at my success. I consider those accomplishments a second chance to live a positive life.
Attending an AA group meeting helped me find the positive guidance and instructions I needed towards having a new direction to obtain a better positive way of life. My motivation, inspiration, and courage toward making a change was so powerful, it took away all of my fear, my panic and my terror of speaking in public and asking for help. I was totally set free from holding myself captive in bondage, denying myself the ability to progress. AA made me free from fear.
I was tired of being a disgusting, dishonest, untrustworthy failure to myself, to my family, friends and to everyone I came into contact with. I was tired of being a failure in society, not having the same common interest and standards as the rest of the people in society and in the community I live in. I was fed up with having an antisocial personality along with an arrogant attitude, disliking the social norm, being unfriendly, showing hostility towards the well-being of our society. When I went to board the commissioner vigorously scolded me and chastised me during my last parole hearing. I call it an official reprimand. I will never forget it. It completely woke me up by pointing out all of my faults and criticizing me for not being blameworthy for my actions.
I was speechless for not being honest with him. This lapse was a jarring experience. It brought about a rigorous desire to change and to seek the help I needed. That became the driving force that influenced me, urged me and motivated me to make amends for my past negative behavior by keeping an unconditional goal for myself to reach and accomplish, a goal of having a new positive attitude and to obtain a new positive purpose in life.
The lessons I learned from the Alcoholics Anonymous program, and that I practice living daily, have helped me to become honest with myself and with everyone I come into contact with. They have given me the necessary courage to face and endure all unexpected negativity, conflict, opposition, and confrontations. These challenges are faced with an optimistic attitude, not to get angry or return a negative response. When I am tested with an offensive situation, I feel the promise of Alcoholics Anonymous and feel inspired with peace. I’m amazed at my new happiness and excitement. It confirms for me that the goals of AA are true and for real.
As Chairman of AA, I have to support first time AA members. It is their first time doing something positive that they never did before. We must support them to be more tolerant, patient, supportive in everything they do and to show goodwill towards all men, even adversaries. I personally received the help I was looking for from Alcoholics Anonymous groups. I know what it feels like to get the confidence you need to move forward to better yourself. I have experienced similar circumstances that my fellow members of AA are still struggling with.
My prayer is for courage to be with me as I complete changing everything in my life. When I walked into my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting I said “I need help!” The three outside sponsors looked at me as I said I was overwhelmed with emotional distress, uncertainty of a future full of hopelessness with the disturbed attitude. “I am struggling with ever knowing I will have a realistic future with any genuine accomplishments.”
One sponsor said “you’re what AA wants and needs to help.” Then and there, I thoroughly committed and surrendered myself to following the path of the Alcoholics Anonymous program! I was motivated to make a change. Now I thoroughly follow the path of Alcoholics Anonymous teachings: “Rarely has a person failed who completely gave themselves” to the Alcoholics Anonymous program. They will be rewarded for their accomplishments, for their performance, and for their service. I know that my great effort to continue the AA program will lead to successful achievements I never thought possible.
