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“I thought I knew the pain of being alone, but I didn’t really.”

Dale, 67

Incarcerated: 15 years

When I was watching the show, Hachi: A Dog’s Tale, I cried- a hard cry. I didn’t give it much thought and I actually hid it from my cellie. A week later, it came on again and I told my cellie I was watching it. He said you cried the last time, and I said – at least I can still cry! I watched it, and yup, I cried again. The story is about a dog who waits for his human for years to come back from work, where his human has a heart attack and dies. This dog waited every single day for his human to come home until he died. The next day I was thinking, why am I crying over this show? I’m getting teary-eyed just writing about it. I asked myself why this affected me so much?! So I applied this to my life, looking for that elusive, why? I considered my life, I am the oldest of five, and eight years older than my first sister. For eight years, I was the star in everyone’s life and when my siblings were born that was taken away. Feeling unloved, I searched for love outside the family. My father was in the Air Force, and we moved every three or four years, so I looked at this. Many more whys come up. Long-term friendships are unknown to me. This dog’s longing for love typifies my longing. I thought I knew the pain of being alone, but I didn’t really. I considered that because I couldn’t get the affection the way I wanted it, I closed off. I find it hard to accept the love and acceptance others have for me. I don’t know how, but I know this now, and I am trying to accept others’ concerns for me and learning how.


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