I carry the hurt of being treated as less than human. I want to leave this relationship, but I fear being alone.
I opted not to suffer in silence while trapped behind these four walls, thick metal doors, and bars. Fifty paintings later, I built my museum.
After two decades confined, I never thought I would be treated like I am no longer human on my 40th birthday by my loved ones in society. This past year, I have had minimal communication with the outside world, staying away from cellphones. Now I find myself in a dark place, caught in a toxic relationship. I have never been treated this way before, as if I am not human.
I send my art home, but my fiancรฉe keeps it in her trunk, and my family hides my portfolios in closets. My talent is hidden from the world, buried under envy and hatred disguised as love.
I am more than what these walls suggest. I am a fine artist, painter, sculptor, illustrator, writer, poet, and musician. Since childhood, when I was abandoned and neglected by my parents and sent into foster care, art has been my survival. At six, I endured physical and sexual abuse. By eight, I was under the department of mental health, labeled ADHD when it was really psychological conditioning that shaped my path to prison.
I am now a short-timer, but freedom still feels heavy. I carry the hurt of being treated as less than human. I want to leave this relationship, but I fear being alone. She is my only support, yet the toxicity threatens my reentry.
Still, my art has reached many countries, blogs, and news channels, including the Marshall Project. I even painted murals on prison walls. Art helped me endure, and I thank God for blessing me with this gift. My heart goes out to Virgil Summers, the innocent bystander who lost his life 20 years ago at Club Volez, and to his family who mourn him still.
I have been sober for 15 years. Art helps me cope with my triggers. I dream of finding a partner who is also a supporter, a brand ambassador, a best friend, and someone I can invest my all into. I want to walk out of these gates into a warm embrace, ready to love, to travel, to create, and to live free.
