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Since the beginning of my existence, I was cloaked in darkness, confined to small spaces. As cramped as I was, comfort and peace was gained by familiarity to my surroundings.

Jose, 36
Incarcerated: 5 years
Housed: Susanville, California

Since the beginning of my existence, I was cloaked in darkness, confined to small spaces. As cramped as I was, comfort and peace was gained by familiarity to my surroundings. Like a seedling buried deep within earth, I too burst forth clawing for survival into a world unknown. My comfort & peace seemed to fade away. As I grew up, I pushed past resistance, elbowed my way through uncertainties in order to stand firm in a space I call my own. Becoming attached to things, to people, only to have them ripped away from my clutches caused a pain to stay. Disappointment, shame, sorrow was masked layer upon layer with rage, hate, and a heart thatโ€™s hollow. Resulting in my inner light to fade away. I sought friends from the free world whom might help me escape a dream twirl. Little did I know about the path laid down before me would illuminate the love that stood upon it. A love so majestic that it would revive my inner light which I believed to be non-existent. I held her picture in my hands and couldnโ€™t take my eyes off of her.

I read and reread her letter until I felt my soul awakened. I couldnโ€™t wait any longer. I made my fateful call to her. Like a bolt of lightning ZAP! Her voice struck a chord within my soul and I heard a melody so sweet, I dare call it divine. All I wanted, all I needed, all I had hoped and prayed for I found in her. A woman who looked at my tears of pain, fear, shame, anger, rage, and wiped them away. She listens, she knows, she feels all that Iโ€™ve fought, all that Iโ€™ve faced, sees in me a man of greatness, a man of perpetual elevation. My inner light was diminished because I had lost my vision. She clears away the fog, she finetunes my perspective, she stands next to me, forever, because sheโ€™s here to stay

 

(We were married March 18, 2023).

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