Skip to main content

I learned that I can’t be the hands on, disciplinarian father, so I adopted more of a big brother- dynamic. This creates a more comfortable atmosphere for him to come to me for advice, with his issues and growing pains.

Incarcerated: 12

Housed: Patuxent Institute, Jessup, Maryland

The best thing I did in life was have a son. He was two when I fell and I was a very active and loving father. Fast forward to his middle school days, his mom said I need to talk to him because he was fighting a lot. I ain’t really thinking too much of it, I figured boys will be boys, but when I asked him why he was fighting, he said people in his class googled him. We have the same name, his classmate’s internet search yielded my history. History of a terrible crime. Learning he was fighting for my ‘honor’ broke my heart. I remember crying a river from the embarrassment and hurt he experienced because of me. I changed the way I communicated with him. More honesty and transparency because I don’t want my son to learn from foreign and tainted sources of information. I learned that I can’t be the hands on, disciplinarian father, so I adopted more of a big brother- dynamic. This creates a more comfortable atmosphere for him to come to me for advice, with his issues and growing pains. By the grace of God, we have a strong relationship. The ironic thing is his mom hates that my son loves me…? Everytime he messes up she blames me/my influence and wont allow me to contact him. I guess it is easier to look through glasses than a mirror. I tell my son I love him often and I’m proud of him. I always stress the importance of teaching him how to think instead of what to think, the importance of evaluating situations before he acts and making good decisions. I remind my son to never allow his love for me to keep him from being better than me, or his loyalty to me keep him from surpassing me in life.

2 Comments

  • Bill Schwartz says:

    Kelly: it can only get better and better and better. We’re proud of you. Continue doing what you’re doing.

  • Susan E Schwartz says:

    It sounds like your son is getting good advice from you and no matter what his mother says he will always love you. You deserve that

Receive more inspiring stories and news from incarcerated people around the world.