If a negative thought comes at you, deflect it like a ping pong ball. It will keep coming back but keep deflecting it.
Incarcerated: 2 years
Housed: San Quentin State Prison, San Quentin, CA
I met her at a club in Oakland. I saved her from a harasser, and then we got to talking. The next morning we took an uber to her car, and she drove me back home. I remember her Mini Cooper; it was so much bigger inside than it looked from the outside. She told me to call her, but I never did. We went back and forth forever – – “You’re not gonna tell me when to call, you call me!” – but she finally called and invited me over. I said no at first but she convinced me. Eventually she picked me up and took me to her house. Amy lived in a huge, beautiful house. I couldn’t believe it! I was taking pictures and videotaping it the whole time. I remember her laughing and asking, “Where did you think I lived, an apartment?” I couldn’t tell she was rich; she wore hippie clothes, and she doesn’t brag – except when she does, and she’s hilarious like a comedian. I can’t ever get ma[d at her. We can talk for hours. She’ll say anything to make me happy, and I love her sweet nothings. She and I are in a great spot. She has a successful business selling facial products, and I have a passion for making people feel good, especially my mom.
Early on in prison, I spent 45 days completely by myself. I had to be in prison to experience that as I had always wanted to be with others. I was scared of being alone. I cried for days, experiencing all the emotions I had been holding in. I cried about everything, what made me sad, what made me mad and I let it go. I told myself, you’re the only one here now, you came by yourself, and you’ll leave by yourself. I wrote a letter to myself to break it all down, to take away the negativity. I took the advice of Napoleon Hill and pushed it away so I could be my best self. His books were a big help for me to think about things differently. If a negative thought comes at you, deflect it like a ping pong ball or it will keep coming back. What you can dream of you can achieve–stay positive!