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I was locked up again during the birth and was not there to see my son come into the world. Ever since the day that I got out, I knew I had to provide for the little one.

Derrick, 22
Incarcerated: 6 years
Housed: Cummins Unit, Arkansas

This is something I’ll never forget. One night I was walking to the store when I was picked up by some dudes I knew for a blind mission I didn’t expect. My actions that day caused someone to almost lose his life over some drugs and money. This destructive behavior started when I was just eight because it was the life I had adapted to. I went from stealing to car hopping, to breaking and entering, to robbing drug dealers. I have had to complete every mission I was assigned in order to provide for my people and to survive.  I became too adjusted to this life and too addicted to drugs, so things just got worse and worse. At one point, I did believe that I had escaped my problems, however they followed me. I tried to follow a different path, but my past choices had already defined me and it was at this point I felt that I had thrown away my dream and given up on those that needed me the most. After one visit to DYS, I got one of my friend’s sisters pregnant and learned that I had to accept my responsibility for the baby.

I was locked up again during the birth and was not there to see my son come into the world. Ever since the day that I got out, I knew I had to provide for the little one. That realization caused me to commit a crime that got a police officer killed. I was locked up and took a deal for 20 years in order to keep my other homeboy from doing the time as we were both there that day. I started to feel like nothing good in life was meant for me. I have problems communicating and dealing with people, a problem that I have been trying to overcome. This is a challenge I’m battling with. My big brother in here has been hard on me, but I know it is to help find the “better me.” When you feel like everybody has given up on you, I encourage you to keep  striving no matter how long it takes. I have given up on so much over the years. But now, I am trying to rise, better than I was. I am not done chasing my dreams of music and starting my own clothing design business. Everything I do, I do for my son. I am just another person in prison trying to make a living. So stay strong and NEVER GIVE UP.

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