Days before sentencing every interaction and conversation was like the last. For me, it was.
On December 7th, 2022, I had my sentencing date after signing a cap of ten years executed to the DOC a few weeks prior. I was out on bond because of my grandma Sarah. She will do anything in the world to help me, support me, even if I am wrong at times. While my hourglass dwindled in society, I worked, went to school online, took courses, took care of grandma, and battled the endless stress of not knowing my trajectory in life. Overanalyzing the infinite possibilities and worrying about everything out of my control. My life was in the court’s hands. Imagine scrolling through your contacts and social media and deciding if they were worth your last moments free. You’d be surprised who actually matters when your glass is running out. I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy. That stress is unhealthy. In between signing the plea and getting sentenced, one of my favorite holidays came—Thanksgiving. I helped grandma make our family-famous peanut butter pies. People go crazy over them. That memory still plays in my mind three years later. Being at Thanksgiving with family, good food, and my freedom was a great feeling. Hearing my cousins cursing loud and telling their wives, “Babe, I’m not that drunk.” Kids running wild, then stopping when their parents say, “Kesu, do you know who this is? That’s your cousin Jackie,” then off they go again. Kesu’s mom is my cousin Kesu, who is my aunt Kesu’s daughter and granddaughter. Three generations of Kesu. Ten days later, grandma testified for me at 73 years old. I was sentenced to twenty years with ten suspended. That was my last memory with her. She passed away on July 1st, 2025. December 7th will always stay on my mind. Being Hawaiian, I know Pearl Harbor was a tragic moment in history. I expect history to repeat. Grandma fought until the end. My aunt Kesu, her daughter, is staying in touch like family should. Until the end. J. Cole says, “For what’s money without happiness or hard times without the people you love… I pray for strength from above.
