After reflection of the path of destruction paved with self sabotage, ignorance, and arrogance, to find myself returning to metal bunks and plastic trays behind an electric fence on an extended stay, here is what I am compelled to say to the mother of my children.
Dedicated to Katrina Williams
Dear MAMAKA,
I miss you more than I miss my freedom.
I love you more than I love the game.
I hate that I took you for granted every night and day, always in traffic trying to get paid, begging me to stop before it’s too late, never to heed the future coming my way. Kept you mad at the fact I love to struggle more than family days.
Sitting in my cell, I hear your voice echoing in my head. You gonna be in prison all alone till your old and gray, living in the worst way, suffering from misery and pain, truly lost more than you can ever gain. No amount of drugs can ever make the guilt go away.
I really can’t be mad at you because you didn’t wait. After all, I lost count of the chances I squandered away. While I reflect down memory lane, I deeply regret how I broke your trust and pushed you away till we grew apart and couldn’t relate, watching me choose death and tempting fate.
Maybe I didn’t just get locked up. I got saved.
I hope you one day forgive me for the trauma I left behind in your brain, the broken heart, and tears filled with hate that remind. I give you my highest honor, knowing that my kids are always safe. The best mother I know. That’s why I call you
Mama.KA. All in your favor till my flesh hits the dirt.
Written by Gangster Suess
Touches my heart. Beautifully said, raw and honest. Wish you a life with meaningful relationships and inner peace.