So today, I breathe easy, walk in the spirit, and do my best to help myself and others, all while trying to have fun along the way. Life is about the journey, not the destination.
While I didn’t grow up here in years, I’ve grown in faith and spirit. This is my sixth year here, but in total, I’ve served about eleven years. I’ve had to keep coming back, taking time-outs from life to truly figure out who I am.
My life story is long, filled with tragedy—sad and heartbreaking, to say the least. As a young girl with only myself to rely on, I had two choices: sink or swim. And I SWAM. Boy, did I swim! And I’m still swimming.
For the last three years, I’ve been on a spiritual journey, and it’s been an incredible experience. People say, “The closer you get to God, the more the devil nips at your heart.” Well, they weren’t lying. I’ve been going through spiritual warfare for about a year now, but instead of deterring me, it’s only strengthened my faith. Today, I practice Native American spirituality. I believe in one God and respect many religions.
Being here at York has given me the space to think, heal, pray, and truly find myself. I’ve become available to other women in a way many others, inside or out, aren’t. I’m here as a real friend, a mentor, a support, a shoulder to lean on. I’m a mother to my daughter, Elana. I’ve let go of the guilt and shame of being incarcerated. I now understand that everything happens in God’s time.
Without this final time-out, I would never have learned to love myself or others, especially my children. I’ve gained compassion for myself and others and have become a better person. I started coming here at 26, and now, at 49, I know I could have ended up dead if it weren’t for this place. I dream of God constantly, and for the last four or five months, my ancestors—my mom, dad, grandparents, and sister, all of whom have passed—have been guiding my spirit. They’ve come to me in spirit, reassuring me that my life is on the right path and that all the wrongs will be corrected with reparations. So today, I breathe easy, walk in the spirit, and do my best to help myself and others, all while trying to have fun along the way. Life is about the journey, not the destination.
