I just wanted my boys to know how much I love them.

Growing up my dad was barely in my life. I swore that if I had kids I would always be there for them. They were three, four and five years old when I came to jail. I was with them from birth to that last day. The time I had with them was the best years of my life.

I regret every time I told them I was too busy to play with them. I wanted to help them grow up, to be there for them, give advice and do all the things a dad is supposed to do. I had to find substitutes for my dad not being around, so I hope they’ve found people to look up to.

“I just wanted my boys to know how much I love them. Growing up my dad was barely in my life. I swore that if I had kids I would always be there for them.”

Guys assume I’m a loner because they can’t see the ones I carry around inside of me. I feel bad for the young guys who join a gang to have an artificial “family.” I’m lucky to already have all the family I need.

Life’s a tragedy for everyone, admittedly more for some, all we can do is make the best of it. I’m not sorry that I took the life that I took. He was threatening the safety of the ones who it was my duty to protect. But I regret the choices that led to being in that situation, and I’m sorry his family has suffered.