You’re the reason I drink the nectar of life.
I Can’t Call You Barb
I cannot call you Barb. This is something I simply cannot do.
It’s just not right. Such little time we have shared, this is true.
But it has been you who did the most for me out of anyone else in my life.
There are many conversations we never had, and many moments we never got to experience together. Plentiful are those things we missed sharing, but none of that matters. Even with these things lacking, nobody has ever done for me what you have. Nobody has ever given the greatness that only you could give.
You made the birds sing for me. Woman, it was you who showed me blue skies!
I have felt rain on my face and played in the snow. I have smelt the flowers and basked in open meadows. From just these things alone, how could I be so rude as to call you Barb?
I turned to substance abuse because of you, but it was also you who inspired me to be straight edge for twelve years. These days, I do continue to use substances in moderation. I have found a balance that works for me. This too, is because of you, although it is not a bad thing.
I hold you accountable for so many material things that I’ve gained and lost. My first childhood bike, three different Harley’s, several homes, apartments, trailers, tapes and CD’s, many cars, a magnitude of clothing, stereos, TV’s, and much more.
It was your support that gave me courage for my first kiss, and my first love. Once there was a girl, so long ago, who I believe I truly loved. If not for you, I would have never loved and lost. I would’ve never loved at all.
Because of you, I have seen so many states, cities, and towns. I have met so many people. You’ve inspired all of my favorite music, movies, shows, and concerts. The things I like to eat and drink are all because of you. You’re the reason I drink the nectar of life. I cannot call you barb.
You granted me sight and sound, and I am very physically healthy because of you. Even if these words I write make me sound as though I’m out of my mind, I write them because of the moments we shared. I’ve even created art because of you. How might I call you Barb if you’ve given me the ability to create?
You are responsible for my first true breath, and you are why my heart beats. You’re a vessel between the void and life. You brought me forth from nothingness. So how can I call you Barb?
Everything that makes me who I am today would’ve never been, if I was never born at all. Even though we are so estranged, the only name I can call you is no name at all.
How can I call you Barb when it was you who gave me life?
How can I call you Barb when the first moment we ever met, a full lifetime ago, you were my mom?
Septic Leech
This septic leech, infectious and pernicious, is the latest trend.
Leeching all that is within. Leaving me hollow and empty; eating me from the inside out.
Creating a monster, for what has been done is nothing less than monstrous.
To twist the knife and bleed my aching heart.
Leaving me to wander aimlessly through life, the whole time emulating a starving junkie stroll.
Placing me in bonds for a thousand years.
I am belial.
Prometheus.
Wounded and sacrificed by myself to myself.
I am Rex Feral!
Caught in this darkness so thick it can be felt.
The Earth refusing to accept my corpse as heaven refuses my soul.
She
She-
Was working on a ship.
When it began to sink, she gave her life jacket to a passenger in need.
She-
Was later found dead.
Apparently drowned while the other passenger survived.
She-
Will be referred to as she.
Her name was news footage I did not catch.
It is knowledge I do not have.
She-
Should be eternally glorified for being so selfless and caring.
For being so brave.
She-
Has carried out this courageous act, and it might just renew my faith in the human race.
A guardian angel, no doubt.
She-
Is real. I did not make this up.
This person gave her life to save a stranger’s.
She-
Who was involved in such a tragedy,
And I want to be clear,
Did actually exist.
As you can see, I found you!!