It is unnatural to me for a parent to outlive his child. Facing this harsh reality while incarcerated forced me to deal with it head-on.
Todd, 36
Incarcerated: 16 years
Housed: Valley State Prison, Chowchilla, CA
How do you mend a broken heart? This is a question that burns through the forefront of my mind. Everyday, I’m faced with the reality of unnatural loss. There was one event in my life that was the most unnatural, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t make this situation make any sense. I’m an alcohol and drug counselor, a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree, a son, a brother, a mentor, and friend, but the title I enjoyed the most was father. I became so accomplished in prison because I wanted to show my son that he should never give up no matter the circumstances. My son was my identity in here, and he was my motivation.
My dear son recently passed away at the age of 1, and my life was flipped upside down. Suddenly I had to figure out why I do what it is I do. All the while though, my brain still can’t compute the passing of my son. It is unnatural to me for a parent to outlive his child. Facing this harsh reality while incarcerated forced me to deal with it head-on. I had to reassess my focus and drive. Instead of just being a positive example for my son, every young man I know took his place. I want to eventually get my master’s degree in social work, then become a licensed clinical social worker, so I’ll be able to help other young men, like my son, who were impacted by having fathers, who are serving long sentences in prison.
That’s where I’m at now. Thanks for checking me out, this is just a small glimpse into my life. I just want to be of service and help people. Please feel free to respond. I’d like to end by telling everyone, “Keep pushing because it is going to get better, and you never know who you might inspire.” Thank you!
