The six-digit number became my identity,
Whether I chose it or not, willingly or unwillingly.
Time passing, like a thief, stealing in stealth.
So many years spent in oblivion, not knowing myself.
Hiding behind the woman I thought I was.
Simplistically identified by a six-digit number, my identity.
Too many wishes to count, too many times Iโve wanted to wake from this nightmare,
Praying itโs a dreamโฆ yet into a harsh reality I stare.
This, unfortunately, is my constant truth. Itโs not just in my headโhandle with care.
The six-digit number became my identity,
Whether I chose it or not, willingly or unwillingly.
This chaos consumes me, inner turmoil.
Constantly imagining a world that feels even slightly normal.
The battle to become who Iโm meant to be
Doesnโt seem to hold weight against the person they created
The six-digit numberโฆ my identity.
Raging war inside: good vs. bad.
Attempting to face all my fears.
Deafening, racing thoughts keep my mind spinning.
I donโt want to go mad.
All my shortcomings overwhelm me on this journey to heal.
And just when I find peace, something new comes to steal it.
I canโt forget, no matter how hard I try.
My ego gets in the wayโฆ in the form of pride.
Intrusive thoughts, get out of my head.
But I canโt forget.
I am what the six-digit number says.
It seems I havenโt moved on.
I trick myselfโis my sanity gone?
Forcing myself forward doesnโt feel logical.
My light is dimmingโฆ fadingโฆ growing dull.
The best gift? Another chance at redemption.
That wild energy. That rift.
I want to escape this feeling deep inside,
As I stare at myself in the mirrorโs face
The six-digit number,
The only thing leaving its trace.
And thenโฆ
Iโm grasping for the woman Iโm meant to be.
She seems so distant.
So impossible to embrace.







Wow. My heart goes out to you. I know you can do it!