I no longer wanted to live my life as a monster. My journey of transformation began the moment I understood that truth.
I was raised in an ever struggling environment, I grew up with addiction, abandonment and abuse. My mother left when I was young, and my father was an alcoholic. When he remarried, the problems only grew. Violence, aggression and emotional suppression became normal in our home. Many of my family members were associated with a gang and our neighborhoods carried that influence.
Without love, acceptance or my needs met, I turned toward the gang lifestyle and searched for belonging in a false brotherhood. My identity changed and my life spiraled out of control, leading to my crime of robbery and a long sentence 14 years with firearm, ten and gang enhancements another ten. Inside I was pulled deeper into destructive thinking. I lost both parents, damaged family relationships and failed my kids.
Facing the pain and harm I caused innocent people and those I claimed to love hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally understood the ripple effect I had set in motion. Even though my upbringing influenced me, I learned I was responsible for my choices. I refused to be defined by my past. I knew I needed to take control, make amends and repay the debt I owe society and my loved ones.ย
Denouncing my gang affiliation became my turning point. I committed to re-wiring my thinking and invested years in self help and rehabilitation groups to understand the harm I created. Turning the page from monster to human, I discovered my true identity and began fostering humility, compassion and empathy. I work to be a positive influence and mentor youth facing the same struggles I once faced. I live every day committed to making amends to my family, my victims and society.
No matter your background or choices, you are capable of change. Do not be afraid to ask for help. There are people who truly want to see us succeed. Commit to change, be genuine and the rest will fall into place. If I can do it, so can you.
