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“Being gone away from the world that I once knew for so long will make you feel forgotten.”

Joel, 31

Incarcerated: 9 years

Housed: Arkansas Dept of Corrections, Grady

Being gone away from the world I once knew for so long, will make you feel forgotten. Learning that life doesn’t stop because I got popped is something that opened my eyes to a lot about life. I got in my jam a few days before my 22nd birthday and sad to say- I’m still stuck in 2014. Being incarcerated it seems that I don’t age mentally. In my mind, I’m still that 21-year-old about to turn 22 and still childish. I like to think outside of the walls that bind me to this place. Let me tell you this place will sharpen up your imagination after so long. You sort of become your own best friend cause you can’t trust too many people. I find myself daydreaming all of the time about when I was free or about when I got my freedom back. Like today,  I daydreamed about my first love and our first encounter. How I wish sometimes I could just stay in that thought forever. I see it all as clearly as I see it today. I mean Bre is so beautiful and happy. The music that was playing was Sure Thing by Miguel. I pull up in the car with my homeboy at the time, and I see her for the first time. I remember thinking that’s my sure thing right there and she was. I was shy back then,  so I didn’t know how to approach her, so I sent one of my little guys over to tell her that I liked her and to come talk to me and she did. It was crazy how we talked to each other. I remember us being so alive. I mean she was so outgoing compared to me. I loved that and wanted her around me all of the time. She was the total opposite of me. My better half. I love you Bre wherever you are. I find this to be crazy how being incarcerated, men tend to try and bury these kinds of thoughts and emotions in fear of looking soft or even weak but not me. I welcome them proudly!


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