Being completely honest, my therapist has made me feel like a better person.
I called home today. Rae’Lynn is five now and she understands time a little better.
She asked if I was still on vacation and if it was fun. I told her I am still on vacation and it is not fun, that I only have fun when I talk to her. She told me to hurry home because I have been on vacation too long and she misses me. I asked how much. She said more than I will ever know and told me she loves me.
When I asked how much she said 200 hundreds three five seven one.
I laughed because I didn’t know what that meant and told her I love her seven hundred two billion three hundred ninety five million one hundred forty six thousand and one. She told me that is not a real number and laughed, so now we are beefing.
wrote this poem during a time when I began to distance myself from my peers and family. Not out of hatred or envy but because I realized I cannot fake happiness. If I don’t love myself I can’t love anyone else properly.
Here is the opening of the poem…
A loose screw but the tools she has given me has simultaneously been working, effecting my emotions massively;
I mean I feel better but am I?
If a bird injures his wing is he still considered
A bird if he can’t fly he can’t be a bird
Can he?
I mean with the life I have been
Living if I die too sudden for the world
To appreciate me was my life really
Worth living or did I die in vain?
Maybe
Would you appreciate me? I am a kindhearted person I mean I genuinely
Care but if I stop caring too soon for
You to say you love me can’t you say
The love was never there? Cause I
Love everybody I don’t hate you.
I am
Walking this journey by faith hoping my
Day would be better but it’s a speed wall
This time in this marathon called life,
I am not really sure if slow and steady
Wins the race.
