Shanda, 59

Memories are not made by the gifts that you get but by the ones that give them. Those are etched into my heart forever.

Memories are a result of and an influence on perception, attention, and learning. The power of extraordinary. It possesses the means to transport you back in time. As I sit to write this, my body remains physically present but my mind goes on a journey into the past. It was a time when things were much simpler. A time when I saw the glass half full instead of half empty. A time where I would rather be. The year is 1975, and the event was my 10th birthday party. It is a memory that will hang onto the walls of my heart forever.

Growing up in a rural farming community had its ups and downs. We were considered the “country folk,” meaning we did not have the luxuries of “town folk kids.” We milked cows before and after school. It was not uncommon for us to spend our weekends in the garden packing peas, butterbeans, and shucking corn. No matter how much we worked, my parents never forgot a special day in my life.

I clearly remember the day as if it happened yesterday. I awoke to the sun beaming in my face. My first instinct was to pull the covers over my face and shut the world out with the closing of my eyes, but then it dawned on me that today was my birthday and I had big plans. I was going to have my first swimming birthday party. All my friends and family were invited. As I envisioned what the day was going to bring, my bedroom door burst open as if the floodgates to the Mississippi River had been opened. In came Momma, Daddy, and my younger brother bearing gifts as if they were the three wise men I had learned about in Bible school. Of course, to my ten-year-old mind, this is what birthdays are made of: gifts.

I jumped up, grabbed the gifts, and began to open them with a fierceness that only comes with the excitement of childhood birthdays. I can still hear everyone’s laughter and see the smiles on my family’s faces as they watched with amusement while I tore into the presents. Presents were only a two-time affair in our household, Christmas and birthdays.

After opening presents, my daddy said in his northern drawl, “Up and at ‘em, sis, we have a big day ahead of us.” I immediately jumped off the bed and performed my morning ritual, but this one day there was a twist to the usual routine. I put on my new bathing suit. It was the prettiest thing. It would be the first time I got to wear a two-piece bathing suit. Of course, looking back, I was far from a Bo Derek, but as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, in my thoughts I was as beautiful as ever, and my parents never let me forget that.

The ride to the pool was filled with anticipation. I wondered to myself who all would be there and what they were getting me for my birthday. As we arrived at Ms. Ullman’s house, I was in awe of the decorations around the pool. I pondered who did that. Everything looked so perfect. The pool was inviting, and Ms. Ullman’s house was huge. I remember thinking, how did one old lady live in such a big house? Many years later, I would drive by the same house and pool only to realize it was not any bigger than the average home.

Everyone unloaded the car. I was not allowed to because today was my special day. As time passed, everyone started arriving, bringing gifts and balloons. “This is the best day ever,” I said to myself.

“Let’s get this party started,” were my daddy’s words as he did a belly flop into the pool. Everybody followed behind, and the fun began. The day continued with swimming, cake, and ice cream. After eating, the best part of the day was about presents, and lots of them. I opened each of them with less enthusiasm than I had earlier in the day because I did not want to seem so anxious. I had been taught to never act as if I had never had anything in my life. I can remember opening each and every present, but for the life of me, I cannot name one gift that I received. I guess they were not that important at all.

Just as memories have the power to take you back to a much simpler time, they also possess the capability of bringing you into a less favored time. A time when the glass is now half empty and life is full of complications. Looking back almost 50 years ago, I realize what I hang onto the most is not the fact that I had a swimming party or that I received numerous gifts. It is the closeness of family. I will forever remember my daddy’s face as he jumped in the pool and the gleam in my momma’s eyes as she lit the candles on the cake. Memories are not made by the gifts that you get but by the ones that give them. Those are etched into my heart forever.