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Jocelyn, 32

Jocelyn, 32

Stories

Meet Jocelyn…

I look forward to making a name for myself as an African American transgender artist.

Jocelyn, 32
Incarcerated: 9 months
Housed: San Quentin State Prison, CA

At 14 I knew I was different. I didn’t know what transgender was. I dreamt of  myself as an older female. My family was religious and being transgender was strictly forbidden. Finding the courage within myself to fight for my truth, I decided to take a stand and distance myself from my family in order to communicate my seriousness. After a year and a half, I called my mom and dad, they were over the moon to hear from me. They said, “Come as you are, we love you.” Today, I recognize when I transitioned, my family also made a transition. Everyone’s journey is their own and I choose to make mine special. I enjoy music, cosmetology and traveling. I am originally from North Carolina and have lived in New York City and Florida. Living in California has really tested what I am made of. My favorite tattoo is my compass and the feather transforming into a bird. I look forward to making a name for myself as an African American transgender artist.

Sarah, 39

Sarah, 39

Stories

Meet Sarah…

I believe that sometimes it takes a true friend to show us that we are special and even behind walls we deserve to be happy and loved.

Sarah, 39
Incarcerated: 7 years
Housed: Montana Women’s Prison, Billings

I have learned a lot about myself during my incarceration. I am very co-dependent and have found myself in bad unhealthy relationships. I was in the middle of a bad relationship when I got moved to a new unit and got new roommates. One of my roommates is a very kind and gentle lady. I have come to see her as a prison mom. I felt very comfortable just being able to talk to her. Over the year that I have been her roommate, she has shown me I am truly a smart and beautiful person. Even though I have made mistakes, I deserve to be loved and accepted. I am a very kind hearted and loving person and many people take advantage of that. In the last few months I have been able to break free of my unhealthy relationship and know I am only “single” and not “alone.” I believe sometimes it takes a true friend to show us we are special and even behind walls we deserve to be happy and loved. I am so thankful for friends I never would have met, if I wasn’t here. They have helped me change for the better.

Paul, 42

Paul, 42

Stories

Meet Paul…

The power of gentleness, especially amid the tough exteriors of prisoners, is not to be underestimated.

Paul, 42
Incarcerated: 17
Housed: Sing Sing Correctional Facility, Ossining, New York
Selection from Paul’s book, God’s Hand Reaches Down

David came to the Chaplain’s office because he had just found out his mother had died. He was a taller Latin man, a little over six feet, with the rough exterior of years of street life. I could see the pain in his eyes, and the sorrow in his heart. I barely knew him, but the Holy Spirit told me to embrace him. So I did. I told him, “David, I am so sorry for your loss,” and then I just hugged him. I felt his large frame collapse into the crook of my neck like a child, and he began to weep. All the emotion he was holding in convulsed out into broken sobs, and as I held him strongly while rubbing his back and giving him words of consolation. In that moment, he needed the gentleness of an embrace to open his Spirit. Other than being accosted by a correctional officer during a pat frisk on the wall, many of us have never been held for five, ten, twenty plus years, let alone hugged during a vulnerable time. We prayed and I could visibly see the relief on his face and the resolve to get through this difficult time. The power of gentleness, especially amid the tough exteriors of prisoners, is not to be underestimated. Over the years because of my care for my fellow prisoners and the goodness that lies within them, through the gentle example of Jesus, I have been able to reach people during the most challenging times of familial loss, lockdowns, gang wars, riots, and unrest.

Terence, 47

Terence, 47

Stories

Meet Terence…

My education has given me the clarity and understanding of how to be accountable. It’s like I have the answers to the test. The test of life. I’m a work in progress which started when I enrolled in the Hudson Link- Mercy College. Today I can say that I don’t hate myself anymore. I’ve even started to learn to like myself and maybe one day I’ll learn to love myself too.

Terence, 47
Incarcerated: 12 years
Housed: Sing Sing Correctional Facility

When my younger brother died in his mid 30’s, I had a very difficult time grieving. We were close. When he got into trouble for a fight at school he called me to meet with our high school disciplinarian. No matter what I’ve done in my life he always looked up to me and never changed how he saw me, even though I’ve definitely disappointed plenty of people. His death could have been the straw that broke this camel’s back. I wanted to drop out. I could barely function but Professor Downey told me to keep showing up. In her class, I also started to learn about the effects trauma had on children’s development and decision making. So I listened and kept showing up because I trusted her knowledge based on the work she’s done in research. A light bulb went off in her class: the class brought up a lot of pain from my childhood with the different case studies we’d read on adverse childhood experiences. The discussions and my brother’s death at the time had me on an emotional edge. Showing up was about all I could do. But I was just learning how my traumatic experiences affected my development. It never occurred to me the intense feelings of shame that I can’t really remember ever living without, those reflected in my abnormal development from those events. I just thought they were THINGS that HAPPENED. What I do know is that through education here I’ve been given hope. People who leave prison with a bachelor’s degree have a recidivism rate of 3% and 1% with a masters which I plan on pursuing here. My education has given me the clarity and understanding of how to be accountable. It’s like I have the answers to the test. The test of life. I’m a work in progress which started when I enrolled in the Hudson Link- Mercy College. Today I can say that I don’t hate myself anymore. I’ve even started to learn to like myself and maybe one day I’ll learn to love myself too.

Trell, 31

Trell, 31

Stories

Meet Trell…

I took enough time in between to think that in this world, when it’s all said and done it’s just you, which is all I ever really needed.

Trell, 31
Incarcerated: 8 years
Housed: Hays State Prison, Trion, Georgia

During incarceration maturity finally dawned on me. It wasn’t consensual but it was necessary. My life has handed me a Vegas mountain of poker chips in advantages almost every step of the way, but loss that stemmed from friendships, relationships, and subconscious mental takeover played a tremendous role in putting me here. I can only come away with one sole belief as to why: karma! Throughout my newfound growth, codependency was by far the hardest thing I’ve had to overcome. I never quite took the saying that you can’t always have what you want seriously until I didn’t have it my way more than once. Being at a breaking point, I sent out multiple emails and waited for a penpal. I took enough time in between to think that in this world, when it’s all said and done it’s just you, which is all I ever really needed. Then I got an email from my homie Sid, my bro’skee; when no one else was there, he came through. Don’t ever give in to hopelessness, keep it everlasting, don’t ever lose touch when believing.

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