From Wendy, 47

God knows prison made that possible for me, and I now have the tools to be successful in life.

I am sure you have all heard the saying “home is where the heart is.” Well I keep mine in my chest so it’s where I am all the time. Currently and for the past four years it has been in prison. So for the time I am here this is home to me. In my opinion you can choose how you do this time. You can lay around and drown in self-pity, surround yourself with negativity, or do something positive. It’s up to you. Blaming the system or others is a choice as well. In here you will find a variety of women. I choose to be a positive person. I have been all my life so I see no point at this stage to stop now.

Is respect earned or given? In my opinion it’s both. There are more people who show respect than not. It’s a reflection of your own character. Yes, there are some rude and hateful people in prison. They are everywhere, so in here is no exception. I do not want anyone to get the wrong impression about prison or my intention for writing this. I would much rather be on the outside, but I am not. Anyways, sometimes I feel like I am a part of a study to show if I can adapt to change and change my behavior. Wait—that’s what DOC is. DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS. That’s my point.

Prison is a mindset. I am not in prison in my mind or my heart. I am living in a controlled environment. Yes, this is currently my home. I keep my area clean and clean after myself. These women are my family and I respect them as well as those in authority as I would my boss or teachers. I work and go to classes as recommended by DOC so that I can better myself and learn how to do things such as sewing and crocheting to make me a better mother and grandmother, and so I have tools to supplement my income in and out of prison. We have limited supplies, and that teaches stewardship. These are life lessons. One can be pissed off because they don’t think it’s fair, and in my opinion those are the ones that return. Or one can utilize what they have learned to grow and prosper and become better women here or not.

True character is when no one is looking. That’s what a sign says on our bathroom wall, and I agree. Yes, we are women with criminal backgrounds, but day-to-day character traits do not speak of past behavior, in my opinion. I am learning and growing every day. I am grateful for this experience, although I am sorry for the crime I have committed. I am thankful for my sobriety. God knows prison made that possible for me, and I now have the tools to be successful in life.