I must tell you I am extremely nervous right now because good things very rarely occur in my life. I also have deep trust issues that I still strive to overcome to this present day. But what you are doing is so beautiful to me that I don’t seem to have a choice but to put myself out there to see if maybe, just maybe, this once I may become involved in this wonderful movement you all have dedicated yourselves to. You see, I know that I need help, and there are a lot of people who need help as well. But I also know there are many who truly believe in their hearts that I am not even worth the time or effort it would take to help. For a very long time, I felt the same way about myself, so I cannot blame them. But I have learned that I am not the only one who feels this way. Now you have allowed so many to see that someone does care, and that God has angels for everybody, including those like me.
The Truth of Me
As I lay in my cell, tattered and broken, unleashed memories from hell of traumas from the past unspoken. Since I was a child, I have been lost and abused. Not only was I robbed of my smiles that should accompany every child, but I was also labeled uncool and bullied by other troubled youths. I have been jumped, neglected, hated, molested. Yes, I said I was molested.
This is the truth of me. I can no longer hold it inside. I am so tired of falling asleep only to awaken with tears streaming from my eyes. I used to say I am no actor, but I guess that was a lie, because the truth of me is I have been acting my whole life. I have wanted this life over for so long. I have even prayed for God to take me home, not knowing if it would be heaven or hell.
My life has been painful, hurt, and sorrowful. Does anyone have any happiness I can borrow? So much pain, so much strife, I have endured it all in this life. Another stupid decision made by me just like before.
So now the truth of me is this: I truly wish I would have told. I have been here for eleven years. Only the Lord knows how many more.
