Zach, 31

Zach, 31

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Meet Zach…

If a negative thought comes at you, deflect it like a ping pong ball. It will keep coming back but keep deflecting it.

Zach, 31
Incarcerated: 2 years
Housed: San Quentin State Prison, San Quentin, CA

I met her at a club in Oakland. I saved her from a harasser, and then we got to talking. The next morning we took an uber to her car, and she drove me back home. I remember her Mini Cooper; it was so much bigger inside than it looked from the outside. She told me to call her, but I never did. We went back and forth forever – – “You’re not gonna tell me when to call, you call me!” – but she finally called and invited me over. I said no at first but she convinced me. Eventually she picked me up and took me to her house. Amy lived in a huge, beautiful house. I couldn’t believe it! I was taking pictures and videotaping it the whole time. I remember her laughing and asking, “Where did you think I lived, an apartment?” I couldn’t tell she was rich; she wore hippie clothes, and she doesn’t brag – except when she does, and she’s hilarious like a comedian. I can’t ever get ma[d at her. We can talk for hours. She’ll say anything to make me happy, and I love her sweet nothings. She and I are in a great spot. She has a successful business selling facial products, and I have a passion for making people feel good, especially my mom.

Early on in prison, I spent 45 days completely by myself. I had to be in prison to experience that as I had always wanted to be with others. I was scared of being alone. I cried for days, experiencing all the emotions I had been holding in. I cried about everything, what made me sad, what made me mad and I let it go. I told myself, you’re the only one here now, you came by yourself, and you’ll leave by yourself. I wrote a letter to myself to break it all down, to take away the negativity. I took the advice of Napoleon Hill and pushed it away so I could be my best self. His books were a big help for me to think about things differently. If a negative thought comes at you, deflect it like a ping pong ball or it will keep coming back. What you can dream of you can achieve–stay positive!

Roy Lee, 68

Roy Lee, 68

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Meet Roy Lee…

The powers that be, have no idea all the good teachings Stacy did for people.

Roy Lee, 68
Incarcerated: 45 years
Housed: Valley State Prison, Chowchilla, CA

I met a lady pushing a shopping cart through Quentin. It was full of art supplies, she stopped at all the cells and asked if I’d like to draw. From that point on she’d stop by every week and give me pointers. Twenty some years and three prisons later, I met with Stacy Hay, five days a week, in her classroom in the Arts in Corrections building and learned something new. She taught me that after three days of beating Mulberry bark with wooden hammers I could make paper. She taught me how to make hard back books from scratch. I learn mosaic art for a number of mascot projects for nearby schools. I sat with her for hours talking and watching her paint. Her paintings were beautiful, she could keep up with the best of them, she taught me momo printing. The flier I added was of a momo print I did of celtic knot work.

You draw out what you want, cut them out, ink them up, place them on a sheet of fiberglass, with a sheet of damp printing paper over it and run it through a press. She was one of the main driving forces in my life that has kept me upright. I brought music to her to copy for her shop, she was like an old hippy from the early 70’s, I brought Alanis Morissette. Her first CD was kind of racy. One day her husband was a visiting artist and he asked as he was sweating me, “Why do you give my ol lady stuff like that to play?” I remember telling him, it’s time to come out of the 60’s and move forward. It hurt to be moved from that prison. I heard right after I left they shut down the Arts in Corrections program. The powers that be, have no idea all the good teachings Stacy did for people. I’ve spent many years trying to give back, but with this system, it is sort of like the old west, once you are put in one spot, that is it! Like the old gunfighters who are not allowed to hang up your guns, but I will keep pushing forward with hope in my heart and peace in my soul.

Joseph, 67

Joseph, 67

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Meet Joseph…

From slavery to unity, through suffering and scorn,
Katrina can’t break us as Americans,
Like before, we’ll weather the storm.

Joseph, 67
Incarcerated: 32 years
Housed: Kern Valley State Prison, Delano, CA

Americans will be the winner

Now, how do I describe the pain and hurt or say what I deeply feel,
Just the thought of what I seen and heard of Katrina, all man, I’m feeling seriously ill,
To the core of my bones, I felt a horribly and nasty cold chill,
When I heard the levee broke, I mean, man tell me what the real deal
Sure all the people were warned before Katrina came crashing through,
But the deft, dumb, cripple, old and blind, what were they suppose to do,

The flood water problems were known to hit, many, many, many, years ago,
Major computerized testing, for the levy’s weakness, against the flood waters flow,
Now, all of a sudden I’m hearing rumors, and claims that the government didn’t even know,
Man, I’m not trying to heart that crap, come on people say it isn’t so,
The President and FEMA, but not everyone,

Was untimely with relief efforts to get the job done,
Walmart donated water, needed gas, and food was donated too,
But FEMA turned those items away, without a clue as to what they was suppose to do,
Now, if most the people in the Katrina Disaster were white instead of black,
The question must be asked, would a majority all white American Government,
Held those relief efforts back,

Now, maybe I’m just suffering with an illusion from all the Katrina misery,
Or is it true that, Dogging Blacks is the fiber of White American History,
But there is a side of the Katrina Disaster that I must say is very bright,
Most Americans, Celebrities, and the whole world is helping,
And many of those people or White,
What hurt’s me real bad in this Katrina situation,
Was the Women, Children and little babies crying,
People begging for help and food,
While older people were left dead with animals dead or dying,
Americans are Black, White, Red, Yellow and Brown,
Just to name a few,

And we will get busy and turn this disaster around,
That’s just what Americans do,
Can you feel the pain of my profuse crying,
Please Lord take the stake from my heart,
Because I feel like dying,
There are no amount of words that can truly express how ill I feel,
I can understand the looters,
People gotta eat,
Man, just keeping it real,
But the raping of little girls and women,
My God, gave me a real cold chill,

Got no time now for pointing the finger,
And that’s a natural fact,
But, can we all just get along,
At least until we get Louisiana and Mississippi back,
Now, we all know it’s only right for us,
To mourn for all those that die,
But, all the death, and hungry People crying for help due to Katrina,
Made blood, sweat and tears fall from my eyes,
But, I have faith and hope in the Unseen,
And the bells of liberty and freedom from this disaster will continue to ring,

And as I reflect on the late great Martin Luther King,
I know Americans will grasp the vision,
And fulfill the dream,
We will get up and rebuild Louisiana and Mississippi,
And I mean like never before,
For the whole entire world to see,
And none will be able to ignore,
So we get to stand the coarse together oh mighty Americans,
Stand the course and fight the good fight,
Put aside all out petty differences,
And let all of Humanity see how we can unite.

Americans, you know how we can do it,
Believe me, there’s no doubt in mind,
Cause we’ve already been thru hell and back,
As revealed throughout the annals of time,
From slavery to unity, through suffering and scorn,
Katrina can’t break us as Americans,
Like before, we’ll weather the storm,
We must remember to focus on the sunshine,
As we march bravely through the night,
Be strong through all the hurt, pain and death due to Katrina,
Cause we walk in faith, and not by Sight,
This Hurricane opponent who left all the damage,
Newscasters have named it Katrina,
But when it’s all over said and done,

AMERICANS WILL BE THE WINNER.

Todd, 36

Todd, 36

Meet Todd…

It is unnatural to me for a parent to outlive his child. Facing this harsh reality while incarcerated forced me to deal with it head-on.

Todd, 36
Incarcerated: 16 years
Housed: Valley State Prison, Chowchilla, CA

How do you mend a broken heart? This is a question that burns through the forefront of my mind. Everyday, I’m faced with the reality of unnatural loss. There was one event in my life that was the most unnatural, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t make this situation make any sense. I’m an alcohol and drug counselor, a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree, a son, a brother, a mentor, and friend, but the title I enjoyed the most was father. I became so accomplished in prison because I wanted to show my son that he should never give up no matter the circumstances. My son was my identity in here, and he was my motivation.

My dear son recently passed away at the age of 1, and my life was flipped upside down. Suddenly I had to figure out why I do what it is I do. All the while though, my brain still can’t compute the passing of my son. It is unnatural to me for a parent to outlive his child. Facing this harsh reality while incarcerated forced me to deal with it head-on. I had to reassess my focus and drive. Instead of just being a positive example for my son, every young man I know took his place. I want to eventually get my master’s degree in social work, then become a licensed clinical social worker, so I’ll be able to help other young men, like my son, who were impacted by having fathers, who are serving long sentences in prison.

That’s where I’m at now. Thanks for checking me out, this is just a small glimpse into my life. I just want to be of service and help people. Please feel free to respond. I’d like to end by telling everyone, “Keep pushing because it is going to get better, and you never know who you might inspire.” Thank you!

Moonshadow, 43

Moonshadow, 43

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Meet Moonshadow…

That day taught me three things. It really is the thought that counts. Always be creative. A simple act of love and caring can bring a smile to another person.

Moonshadow, 43
Incarcerated: 26 years
Housed: Valley State Prison, Chowchilla, CA

I remember it being a hot summer day when my grandmother, my mom, and I were driving home from the store. I was around six and full of energy. That all changed when a tow-truck hit us from behind when we stopped at a light. My mother was hospitalized and I was placed in the care of my grandparents. That began six months of hell as I was forced to eat off of and sleep on the floor like a dog. I wasn’t even allowed hot water. The only thing that kept me sane was the thought of being back with my mom. Finally, my mom was allowed weekend visits with me. One particular weekend it was her birthday and I wanted to do something special for her. She always told me, “You’re not allowed to use the stove, no matter what.” So, I decided to get creative. I cracked some eggs, opened some hash browns and bacon, and poured a glass of orange juice. I covered it all up and ran to get my mom. To her surprise, she walked into the kitchen and there was a tablecloth on the floor. She lifted it up to find raw cracked eggs, raw bacon, and raw hash browns and a glass of orange juice on the floor. I didn’t even use a plate. “Happy Birthday Mom! I didn’t use the stove.” She looked back and forth between the mess and me. I really thought that she was going to be mad. She just shook her head and smiled. She gave me the biggest hug and told me that she loved me. That day taught me three things. It really is the thought that counts. Always be creative. A simple act of love and caring can bring a smile to another person. I carry this with me every day in life with the hope of bringing a smile to everyone that I meet. Rest in peace Mom… I love you too.

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