Danny, 33

Danny, 33

Meet Danny…

Upon my release I want to have my own youth ministry. I can empathize with the youth because of what I lacked and experienced growing up. I just wish there was a program like mine that could have reached out to me and shared their experiences so I wouldn’t have come to prison.

Incarcerated: 14

Housed: California Men’s Colony, San Luis Obispo

I found my passion and purpose in life by being part of a youth diversion program in prison. When I was asked to get involved, I really hesitated. I didn’t like public speaking. I felt it wasn’t for me. With much persistence and persuasion, I decided to be in the program. A supposed friend asked me to join, yet didn’t believe I would be an asset to the group. To be honest, I was offended and hurt for two reasons, one because he was my brother in Christ and two, he said it behind my back. Little did he know, I love challenges. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have found my purpose in life. At first I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I believe when you are called to do something great you will face opposition for the impact that is to come. My thought process was to receive my certificate and jump to the next class. Little did I know, it was a never ending class with no certificates. Three years in and I was feeling like I wasn’t making an impact. I was very close to dropping out until Kyle, 15 and Tim, 16 walked into my life. Following my presentation, the Probation Officer thanked me and said I had an impact on them. I will never forget that feeling. To know my labor was not in vain, I felt rich. At 25, I ended up being one of the best speakers. As a youth offender, I was able to reach the youth. They always asked for me, which was an honor. This is why I created Challenging and Helping Adolescents Navigate Change by Educating for Success, CHANCES, I want to continue to give back to the youth. They are our future. Kobe Bryant said, “Our youth tends to get the short end of the stick in terms of the investment that is poured into them. Instead, it should be the opposite because they are our future.” Upon my release I want to have my own youth ministry. I can empathize with the youth because of what I lacked and experienced growing up. I just wish there was a program like mine that could have reached out to me and shared their experiences so I wouldn’t have come to prison.

Albert, 55

Meet Albert…

My son died when he was 16. He was playing football and was hit in the head, three days later he died. I was in Salinas Valley State prison at the time, man that was the ugliest feeling in my life. I knew I had to change my lifestyle and I had to start caring about myself and the impact I was having on others.

Incarcerated: 1 year

This is my fifth prison in one year. I started this way of life at the age of nine. My family are all gang members. My dad was a leader of one of the Chicano movements. My step dad was a Texas mobster. Both of them have been in prison and were drug users. My mom had all kinds of boyfriends. I never knew my dad. I just heard a lot about him. Because of my step dad’s reputation, his name was all over the county, that’s how I had a lot of pull. My life was under rules and leaders, when I first came to prison I thought I was all that. Boy I could tell you a lot of stuff but people will take it wrong. Today, I am so so sorry for the way I behaved. I was stupid.  I was a follower. My son died when he was 16. He was playing football and was hit in the head, three days later he died. I was in Salinas Valley State prison at the time, man that was the ugliest feeling in my life. I knew I had to change my lifestyle and I had to start caring about myself and the impact I was having on others. 

Shohn, 49

Shohn, 49

Meet Shohn…

Love is sacrifice, putting others’ needs before your own without expectation. Love is patience, enduring the storms that darken our horizons to see the dawning of a brand new day. Love is warmth, that glowing ember of light that radiates within the deepest reaches of the heart at the very thought of the other person. And love is everlasting, seeing the entirety of your future in the eyes of another and not being able to envision that future without them.

Incarcerated: 14 years

Housed: Jefferson City Correctional Center, Missouri

Sometimes I dream that I am with someone who loves me, a woman who, in all reality, I have never even laid eyes on before, yet somehow we are familiar to one another just the same. Though when I wake, I can never recall what was said between us, and very rarely is there ever any physical intimacy, I always awaken with the unmistakable contentment of heart that I have just been in the presence of love. I don’t have these dreams often, but whenever I do, the bitter truth that I face is almost too much to bear. They’re so impossibly real that once I awaken to the pain and disappointment that they are not, my heart fills with grief and longing for the love I have just lost. But knowing what I know now, I suppose it is wrong of me to consider TIME an annoying apparition that will not let me be, because in all these years, TIME has revealed to me one undeniable thing- the essence of love’s true meaning. Love is sacrifice, putting others’ needs before your own without expectation. Love is patience, enduring the storms that darken our horizons to see the dawning of a brand new day. Love is warmth, that glowing ember of light that radiates within the deepest reaches of the heart at the very thought of the other person. And love is everlasting, seeing the entirety of your future in the eyes of another and not being able to envision that future without them. Before my newfound awareness of love, I assumed that the only conditions in which good intention would rise up and take a stand in a fight to take back what rightfully belonged to it were the eagerness for redemption and the desperation to right its wrongs. But now I know that the complete absence of love itself has that very same power to summon the will to fight, and fight I will when love once again comes calling my name. I’ve been incarcerated for over 14 years now, convicted of crimes that I did not commit, and with all that I have lost because of that, I have known no greater pain than the pain of being forced to live within the confines of this loveless existence. “If only I could go back in time knowing what I know now,” I often think to myself. But then the utter impossibility of such a thing becomes its very own kind of torment. A man has quite a bit of time to think in here, way too much if you ask me, and though Time has never exactly been a friend to me, it has proved itself lately to be more of a haunting nuisance than anything else, a “Ghost of Christmas Past” taking me places that I need not go, showing me things that I need not see. Regret, shame, sadness and heartache- these are the poisonous fruits that my willful ignorance of love’s inherent value bears, and I eat of this fruit every single day of my loveless existence.

Mohamud, 24

Mohamud, 24

Meet Mohamud…

I can’t change my past decision or where I came from, but I change where I am going.

Incarcerated: 3 years
Housed: Northpoint Training Center, Burgin, Kentucky

I am a single father to a beautiful boy who means the world to me. I love him unconditionally.

My relationship with my son is unbearable, I can’t even explain how much I love and miss him every single day and night. Family means a lot to me, my son, my sister and brother who have been by my side since day one and we talk every weekend. My siblings and I share a strong relationship and are very close. The most important things I miss about being outside is my son, working, going to school and taking care of my family like any father and real men do. To me, all women are beautiful regardless of their height, weight, color, race, religion etc. I respect and love them all. While behind this wall, one thing I’d like to change is how I lived. I lived a double life and I got caught up in street life. I am thankful that I am the only person in my family that graduated college. I became a licensed medical technologist. Education is the key to success and with knowledge the sky’s the limit. I will keep educating myself and taking college courses. I try to be as happy as I can, smile, be positive and take it day by day. I hope to be able to go back to my family and never ever leave them again. I can’t change my past decision or where I came from but I change where I am going. God willing, I will make myself a better human, father and son.

Jose, 32

Meet Jose…

“I have lived both the good and the bad aspects of having face tattoos. If you see us, trying to apply for a good job, getting groceries and trying our best, please don’t judge us.”

Incarcerated: 11 years

My life with a face tattoo.
When people see me with a face tattoo, their first thought is “He’s dangerous, he must be a gang member or criminal, he’s up to no good.” They start to be cautious or nervous. They clutch their children and personal belongings and judge me because of how I look. I was a lost kid and selfish. In spite of the consequences, my face tattoos would bring at home and on the streets, I didn’t care about anything except myself. I have a huge letter “P” on my cheek, along with a teardrop. All are gang tattoos and my poor decisions. At first I thought I was cool and everyone respected me. I wasn’t thinking of all the negative things it would bring. I found it extremely difficult to talk with someone. I was always judged by my appearance. I would get pulled over all the time. I would be followed and blamed for everything. Then there’s the gang negativity. I couldn’t walk in certain areas. Gang members would see me and start causing trouble. I couldn’t take my family around or be with them in certain places. When I came to prison, it brought its fair share of problems. It’s ironic, you would think that it would be normal in prison… NO. I’m here to tell you that it’s not always what you think. One good example, I was applying for a job in prison. I met all the criteria and had support from fellow workers. I never had a work-related incident and always had good job reports. Still, I wouldn’t get hired. I remember asking, “Why.” Her exact answer, “You look like a troublemaker and like you’re ready to fight.” I couldn’t believe it, I thought it was the biggest load of crap I had ever heard. I was nothing but a good person and a great worker. I had changed my mind set and was humbled. But people who didn’t know me, didn’t know that. After a couple of months and having others protest for me, I was given the chance. Even when I was doing my training, she expressed her opinion and thoughts about me. How wrong she was. A month and a half later, she called me into her office and apologized. She had a false sense of who I was and I proved her wrong. I ended up being one of her best employees. I couldn’t believe it. She was apologizing but that happens when you judge a book by its cover. What she didn’t know, I’m a nice, humble person that made some horrible choices. Friends judged me as well. All my good friends thought of me differently at one point. It’s not until they got to know me, that their perception of me changed. I remember one incident the best. I was at the yard one night when one of my friends came over and started a conversation. We have never truly had a meaningful conversation. I told him that I was going to the parole board soon and asked his advice. Up until then, he thought I was a typical gang banger and didn’t have insight as to what led me here. I explained how everything in my life connected to my crime. I shared why my father was abusive. He told me his perception of me was wrong. Till this day, our conversations and respect for one another are deeper. The point – don’t just assume about us. There are a lot of people that look bad who really are but there are a lot of us as well. People who are good, loyal, loving, happy, humble and great, but just made bad choices. Take it from me, I have experienced both the good and the bad aspects of having face tattoos. If you see us, trying to apply for a good job, getting groceries and trying our best, please don’t judge us. I hope you see us differently. Ask my wife. She thought I was going to break her heart and play with her mind and emotions. She’ll tell you how wrong she was and that I’m the most different person she knows. I love you, babe. But who knows, maybe when I see someone, I’ll judge them and start walking far from them, act more cautious and hold my personal belongings tighter. I just wonder how they would feel?

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