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Jesus “Sosa”, 26

Jesus “Sosa”, 26

Stories

Meet Jesus “Sosa”…

…I rolled out the bed to the sounds of slots slamming shut and reopening and inmates yelling. “What’s on the trays?!” It was lunch time in solitary confinement.

Incarcerated: 8 yrs
Housed: Allred Unit, Iowa Park, Texas

I rolled out of bed to the sounds of slots slamming shut, reopening and people yelling. “What’s on the trays?!” It was lunch time in solitary confinement. When the correctional officer finally reached my door to hand me my tray, I smiled, gave my respects and appreciation for feeding me. I was up all night discussing and creating a project I’ve been working on to help and support humanity. The conversation with my neighbor, Rocky, was powerfully profound, inspiring and spiritual. He woke up and shared with me his dream about our project, Humble Monsters. He said “Sosa, I have never written down my dream, this one was so deep and meaningful I had too!” I could hear the wonder and excitement in his voice. After reading it, I was in awe. It was linked to everything that’s been going on for me. The self guided empowerment book I am reading, Mayan Messages, my Bible conversations, to a friend of mine coming for a visit. He gave me a book that I really needed, The Best Resource Directory for Prisoners by Mike Enemigo. All this was linked to my project. God is opening doors for me. He’s placing events, people and resources in my path to succeed. My mind and heart are in the right place. At that moment I told myself I’m going to take this more seriously. My neighbor and mentor on the right side, Jeremy, banged on my wall “Look out Sosa!” I came to the door, he fed me positive knowledge and wisdom on various topics, so I was alert. “I’m listening to this Christian program and something told me to share this with you.” With excitement, I felt the positive vibes. “You have been chosen by the chosen one, whatever you have going on, keep going and the man above is working through you. You are on the right path. Don’t let negative thoughts creep in. Don’t give up, you are headed in the right direction.” It was a powerful message. Feelings that were inexplicable arose within. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I heard a voice in the back of my head “Push like you never pushed before until it’s complete.”

William, 58

William, 58

Stories

Meet William…

…They have shown me that I have worth and humanity irrespective of my crimes that I now seek to atone for.

Incarcerated: Life Without Parole
Housed: Stateville Correctional Center, Illinois

My bond with JoJo began when she was 10. Though she had no reason to, and despite my being Muslim, she sent me Christmas cards with the most heart-warming messages every year. Even as JoJo grew older, played sports, engaged in social and academic pursuits characteristic of most youth, she never stopped sending those beautiful cards. They continued even after she graduated high school and went on to college.

Now, JoJo is a wonderful, full-grown non-binary “Queer” human being! We continue to engage via email, and we recently started a book-club of two, where she and I read books together, discussing them at length, and just enjoy the depth and breadth of each others minds. JoJo says, they/them learn so much from our exchanges, but truth be told, I learn far more from them about unconditional love and acceptance of those deemed beyond redemption and value in our society. They have shown me that I have worth and humanity irrespective of my crimes that I now seek to atone for.

JoJo has never asked me if I was guilty or innocent. They just opened their heart and welcomed me as family. Today, just before I began writing this, JoJo sent me an email wherein she called me “Sweet”. Throughout my life I’ve been called many things, names that hurt, and diminished my humanity. The really funny part, I was raised in a very hyper-masculine and misogynistic environment where being called “Sweet” would’ve angered me.

Today, as I read JoJo’s message I smile, and my heart swells with joy, humility, and gratitude for my priceless friendship with this incredible human being! I have spent more of my life in captivity than I have in the “free world.” In 1994, while awaiting my death in Pontiac Prison in Pontiac Illinois, I met a white man who would become a life-long friend; and who would afford me a gift beyond measure, the friendship of his wonderful granddaughter, JoJo.

Lamavis (Shorty), 53

Lamavis (Shorty), 53

Art from Inside

lamavis

Meet Shorty…

…My first piece of art was a card that I sent to my mother as a Mother’s Day Gift. She asked where I got the artwork and I told her that I drew it. She said, “Do more of that!” and my art career was born.”

 

Incarcerated: 27 years

The anger from my daughter’s passing led me down a path of destruction. To that end, my name means ‘to come into my chains, I will rise again.’ He told me that it wasn’t until I found myself living in these walls, that I would be able to quit my suffering. I would have to look at myself and realize that I can’t be mad at someone else for something I couldn’t control. I saw the direct and indirect effects of my actions on other people and I didn’t want my anger to control me. I hope you learn how to take control of your anger and rage. My self reflection gave me a deeper segway into myself. My artwork began after my self discovery. My art is the knowledge of the gift that God gives me. When I am painting it is as close to meditation and prayer as I can get. My first piece of art was a card that I sent to my mother as a Mother’s Day Gift. She asked where I got the artwork and I told her that I drew it. She said, “Do more of that!” and my art career was born. I’d like to give credit to my instructors and the guys in here. They were my educators. They taught me about how to see, and now I can’t unsee. Before I came to prison, I was a womanizer. So, there will probably be some women shocked to hear about the person I’ve become. To them, I apologize.

Jake, 44

Stories

Meet Jake…

…Two of my favorite quotes are by John Lennon, in a song called “Beautiful Boy” he wrote for his son. He said “Life is just what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

Incarcerated: 13 years
Housed: Bill Clements Unit, Amarillo, Texas

Two of my favorite quotes are by John Lennon, in a song called “Beautiful Boy” he wrote for his son. He said “Life is just what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”. This always stuck with me. But it wasn’t until about eight years ago that it truly hit me. I was having a problem with my thumb twitching all the time. So I went to the doctor. Six weeks later I was told I have Parkinson’s Disease.

All of a sudden all the plans I was making didn’t seem so important. I soon realized what Lennon was saying. So much time, so much I could have done then now was pushed aside. I’d like to say all at once my life got better, that I started living for each day. But then I would be lying. Instead I got depressed. I shut down from everyone and everything. I used to be a firefighter and now it seemed not my future was gone. I wasted my “yesterdays” by making plans and not living my life. The worst of my depression lasted all that year.

I still fight it but not nearly as bad. Which leads me to my second favorite quote. The one that got me going again. It is by J.K Rowling. She wrote the wonderful Harry Potter books. Of her many quotes the one that helped me most was, “Rock bottom became the foundation on which I rebuilt my life!” How wonderful is that? Reading her quote made me see my life wasn’t over. My life is not bad living with Parkinson’s. So I started rebuilding. I do it one day at a time. Sure I still make small plans for tomorrow. Because what John Lennon said is true. You still have to live tomorrow, but today comes first. This is a big part of my life. It’s one of the reasons I am who I am today. It’s the main reason I’m back on the road to happiness.

Derrick, 21

Stories

Meet Derrick…

…My big brother in here has been hard on me, but I knew it was to help me find the “better me”. So for all of you dealing with big problems, smal problems, ups, downs, obstacles, heartache and pain, remember that you are not alone. God is always there.

Incarcerated: 1 year of Life sentence
Housed: Cummins Unit, Arkansas

I was told to knock on a door, which almost caused him to lose his life, for drug money. This was my life, starting when I was eight. Not because my mother and father weren’t good parents cause they were, it was just my life. I went from stealing from my own family to stealing from others, to car hopping, to breaking into people’s houses, taking what they worked so hard for, to robbing drug dealers, stores and then things got worse. Each crime I’ve committed was for the same reason, to provide for my people and survive.

I was addicted to the “Powder” since the age of eight. I’ve spent my life in and out of the system. At 14, I moved in with my grandmother. I thought my problems would slow down, only to realize they followed me and got worse. At 15, I ended up getting this female pregnant. She was 14. I was addicted and used to messing around with older women. I left her to get my mind right. Only to be locked up again.

My son’s due date was on my birthday, February 14th. Eight days after he was born I was released. That day I was completely done with the life I was living, I wanted to provide for the lil one. Nothing fell in line. I gave up and started back hustling. I committed a crime that caused a police officer to be killed. It was three years in county jail before I finally said forget it and took a deal for 20 years with 17 on a “YO” which means class Y felony to keep my other homeboy from doing the time.

I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger when the officer was killed. I took the deal to keep others from getting locked up. My family and many others fought me on it, even my child’s mother. My parents gave up on me which made me give up. I started to feel there wasn’t anything in life left for me. I started causing problems here in prison. My big bro in here Rufus has been a big influence, he’s been tough on me but I know it has helped me find the “better me.” Recently he’s tried to keep my mind off my worries and on the positive. He’s also pushed me to get educated which I accept and respect. For all of you going through the struggle, through problems, situations, ups and downs, obstacles, heartache and pain.

No matter what it is, always remember you ain’t alone. I encourage you always keep pushing and striving no matter how long it takes for things to get better. Keep faith in God and in yourself. No matter what time you got. Whatever dream or goal you are chasing. Keep pushing cause one thing is for certain, anything is possible. I gave up on so much over the years. Even now, I’m trying to rise and better myself. I haven’t given up on chasing my dreams, my music and starting a clothing and designing business. Everything I do, I do it for my son, my number one. NEVER GIVE UP.

 

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