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David, 27

David, 27

Stories

Meet David…

I am forever grateful to the officer who arrested me, he changed my life forever.

Every single day I wake up in prison, I am so grateful. It may sound crazy, but the absolute best thing that happened to me was getting sent to prison. If I didn’t, I would likely be dead or doing life. I was mad at the world, blaming my horrible painful childhood on the way I lived. I used to get beat, tortured, and locked in a closet with nothing to eat for days on end. Then I had to watch my older sister get hurt for trying to sneak me a piece of food. I was homeless, drug addicted and packing a gun by 14. I listened to the world tell me that I would amount to nothing.

Now’s my chance to prove them wrong. Once I took accountability for my actions, it was like a hidden door inside of me opened. I am proud to say, today, I am the best version of myself. I am clean, sober, fit, healthy and I have employment opportunities when I parole. I am pursuing a degree in English. I have an amazing relationship with God. I am a student in the Journalism Guild with S.Q. newspaper and much more. I am loving, compassionate, a leader, a friend and a respected member of my community. At 30, after a whole life of drugs, violence, betrayal, and negativity, for the first time, I know I will be somebody. I have paid my debt to society.

I am forever grateful to the officer who arrested me, he changed my life forever. I had somebody drop a letter off to the Clear Lake Police Department letting him know how much he changed my life. I sincerely believe there is a tipping point in people’s lives where certain things happen and the decision they make will affect their life forever. I made a choice to rise above the drug and prison drama. To be my own man, to utilize every tool and opportunity provided to me, to become a better human.

I have no doubt I will succeed. I will continue to move forward, meet a girl, have kids, buy a house, BBQ with my family and never take a second for granted. I am launching a program called Up Lift the Lake, hoping to work with churches in my area to open a community center. I have many ideas to prevent kids from going down the same path I did. I want to give them an ear and shoulder to lean on.

Donald, 56

Donald, 56

Stories

Meet Donald…

I longed for her to tell me everything would be alright. But it was never alright.
I was seven and playing on the street in front of the Lincoln Hotel, where my mom lived. A car pulled up and a couple got out, looking around, – all official and business-like. The woman waved me over. I remembered her from a couple of months earlier telling my mom she would be back for us. I was filled with fear and ran as fast as I could up the stairs. I was out of breath and crying when I banged on her door. I jumped into her arms and cried mommy she’s back! Temporarily, I felt safe.

Suddenly, all that changed when I found myself being pulled from her arms. When they came and got me, I held onto one of her sweaters. I would hold onto it for dear life and smell it wishing that she was there. I would wrap myself in it as if she was holding me. I could smell her scent which would comfort me and help me sleep. For many nights I held it and cried feeling hurt and alone. I was left wanting to be held and loved and needing my mom to come to take me away from my pain and fear. I longed for her to tell me everything would be alright. But it was never alright. She never came for me. Although she made an appearance from time to time and told me “I love you,” she always left.

My foster mother would eventually throw away my mother’s sweater which had become my security blanket. She told me my mom didn’t love me, which left me feeling lost, alone, hurting, and afraid. There was so much abuse. My brother was able to run away and a social worker moved me to a different family. To this day my brother, sister and I are no longer a family, even when we are under the same roof.

Only God knows my sister’s story and my mom has passed away. As for me, I have spent a lifetime in the system.

Read “Together Beneath the Star Filled Sky”

Earnest, 56

Earnest, 56

Stories

Meet Earnest…

I actively participated in the genocide of my own race. I am a black man who has achieved blackness in prison.

I killed him on my 22nd birthday. My record accurately discloses that I acted with an unreasonable belief in self defense. It was clearly established, at the time the conviction became final, but was not legally recognized at the time of the trial, based on public outcry after the murders of Harvey Milk and San Francisco Mayor Marciori. It was not until 1994 when California recognized its legal mistakes and the state court did not make the defense retroactive for prior.

For 35 years, the Board of Prison Hearings commissioners have refused to believe my version of the case, the coroner’s autopsy report, the coroner’s testimony and an independent pathology report. For years, I have been litigating in the courts while attending college. I have been writing to law schools, lawyers and anyone who could help me to use computer animation to reenact the crime scene with the forensic evidence and coroner’s autopsy report to prove my innocence. I’ve written to numerous venture capitalists for seed capital and talent agencies for assistance. I have contacted an attorney and an expert witness from the Forensic Animation Services and I’ve filed motions in the courts to no avail. I believe my 35 year of incarceration was based on my job prior to prison. I was a photojournalist for the acquittal of Sagon Penn. He killed San Diego policeman Tom Riggs as Riggs and another officer used excessive force against him. It was San Diego’s Rodney King case.

I write this letter to ask for assistance from Black LIves Matter or anyone who can understand my plight. I actively participated in the genocide of my own race. I am a black man who has achieved blackness in prison. It is not my skin color, it is my conscious level.

 

Edward, 43

Stories

Meet Edward…

I have changed after the 12 years of being locked away, now I’m just angry because any longer is pointless.

For 12 years I’ve sat in an Oregon prison with another 11 to go. I am given no chance to earn good time credits, which would take time off my sentence. The Measure One Bbill  forces me to do a day-for-day sentence, even with years of good behavior! Oregon is one of the only states left with this mandatory sentencing law.

I feel that Oregon lawmakers are stuck in their old ways of thinking. They refuse to even vote on a Bill that could offer time off a conviction for good behavior. Meanwhile, Measure 17, forces us  into slave labor. Here’s how: every prisoner is required to work unless you have a disability. I think the Oregon Department of Corrections cares about the profit being made from me, while I work in the call-center. Yes, this prison works with outside contractors that employ prisoners to sit in a hot call – center for eight hours making marketing calls all over the United States and Canada.

Prisoners even build furniture for profit. We now build guitars within the Oregon State Prison that are sold for over $1,000.00. I must tell you that it’s voluntary to work for these higher paying contractors, yet one way or another,  prisoners are required to work. The lower paying kitchen job pays around $25 a month. Someone in the free world might think that is not bad, but with the price of phone calls, canteen items increasing yearly, prisoners can not afford to work for these contractors. unless you don’t care about calling family and friends, or brushing your teeth! I understand that I’m here as a punishment, but I should be treated as a human being and offered programs before I am released from prison, not after being released! Are you telling me I’m required to complete my full 22 year sentence and then Oregon wants me to attend counseling or classes as a requirement of probation? Let me answer for the clueless, the answer is Yes. I ask where are the high profile legal teams fighting for Oregon prisoners?

I will more than likely continue to watch the rich and famous be released from criminal accountability while I sit here having no hope. The prison has not offered me counseling or any form of rehabilitation since being here. The last point I want to make, everyone that has a discussion about how the prison system is broken does just that, they have a conversation that leads to the same conclusion, “It’s broken.” Where is the action? Give me a break and offer up a bill that proposes time off my sentence for good behavior and end Measure 11 & Measure 17. Take the profit away from mass incarceration and things will change. I have changed after the 12 years of being locked away, now I’m just angry because any longer is pointless. What kind of people do you want released into the community? Why not help make us prisoners better people, kinder, more loving and stop caring about profit made and how you can use us or our families. Massive change is needed, not more talk. I sent this article to several civil organizations and Oregon lawmakers.

I hope that whoever receives this will post it on social media and spread it until someone listens. Someone might jump on board with us, the fighters of positive change. It’s important to us, the poor and non famous. The people that have been locked up and forgotten. I’m not Bill Cosby or Martha Stewart.

Gregory, 46

Gregory, 46

Stories

Meet Gregory…

As I look back at the many times in my life where I should have met a certain death, I now know it was Jesus’ love and mercy that saved me from myself.

 I was the fourth and last child to be born to my 19-year-old mother. She had four kids, no education, no resources, and no father figure in our lives, it was rough. I never got to know my biological father, but I now know that he was dealing with mental illnesses and drug abuse. As I grew up, I went through and witnessed numerous mental, physical, and life-threatening abuses and traumas. I now suffer and struggle with PTSD. Fortunately for me I’ve been able to work with many wonderful psychologists who have taught me some great coping skills and techniques to survive. Today my greatest and most powerful ally is my Lord and Savior Jesus The Christ! It’s the relationship that I’ve built with Him that keeps me not only surviving but actually thriving (even while I’m here on Death Row!) As I look back at the many times in my life where I should have met a certain death, I now know it was Jesus’ love and mercy that saved me from myself. I live in His love, mercy, and grace and I try to share these things with everyone I come into contact with. I’ve been blessed with the joy and peace that comes through His Holy Spirit living in me. That’s the greatest gift that I have ever received, and it will only get better when Jesus makes His return. In the meantime, I’ve been staying positive and productive by writing a poetry book and taking a paralegal certification course. I try to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually a little bit every day. I’m still learning and growing, which is what I think is the whole point of life. To all of humanity, I send you LOVE WITHOUT A LIMIT! That’s my motto and creed. If you can be anything in this life – BE KIND! Peace to you always and forever.

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