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Jeremyah, 40

Stories

Meet Jeremyah…

Before I was sent to prison, I did not have an education past the 10th grade.

Before I was sent to prison, I did not have an education past the 10th grade. 

I had a kind heart, plus I was book smart, but all I had done with most of my time was lie, steal, cheat and manipulate other individuals; mostly women! I wasn’t always like this; I gave true relationships a hard swing but I would come across lies, cheating, rumors and deceitful ways before making it to third base. Not wanting to get hurt again, I put up a brick wall to protect my heart and never wore my feelings on my sleeves. Even if she was a good girl, I’d find a way to exit the relationship.

I continued this type of behavior all the way to prison, using and abusing women’s minds for self gain! It took me years in the penitentiary to come to the realization that it was me that was broken and hurt; hurt people hurt other people in their lives! So I woke up one day, and said to myself, “I can be a better man if I become a better man!” the first thing I did was ask my Higher Power to forgive me. Next, I put myself in GED classes and got my GED. i was so happy, but something inside of me, [my Higher Power} said “you’re not done”.  I took college carpentry, and received an associates degree. Now I have a major in Carpentry, General study associates degree, cognitive intervention program certificate, a Voyager certificate, and a new outlook on life! I would love to tell all the people that I had done wrong and taken advantage of that I’m truly, truly sorry! But I have to start with myself and become a ture lighthouse so I can shine a light on lost ships that have been out to sea with life’s treacherous storms! Now, I truly know that I’m not broken, I’m just unfinished!

PS: I would like to thank Marcus  [Waco], Dujuan  [ATL] and Isaiah Murphy [twin 44 acres home RIP to your twin brother and mother.]

I would not have written my thoughts down or put them on display so they could pick it apart. I pray that my thoughts, my walk help at least one person get through their past and make better choices for a beautiful future!

“Peace be thy fragrance, redefinement compliments thy walk!”

By: Trouble Mindz

Michael, 39

Michael, 39

Stories

Meet Michael…

I need someone I know to go with me, so I don’t feel all alone again. Someone I can hang out with and stay out of trouble with. 

Incarcerated: 14 years
Housed: Illinois Department of Corrections, Juliet

I was moved into a cell with Joshua. First thing he says, “If you’re going to be in my cell, then you’re going to be on probation.” He then asked me to shop for him because there is a $100.00 limit at the commissary. He would give me $20.00 if I did. I shopped for him and he told me that I owed him. I asked him what I owed him and he said he’d let me know. Out of the blue, he started asking me personal & sexual questions. I immediately asked the correctional officer on shift if I could get a cell change because my celly was asking me sexual & personal questions. When I got back to my cell, and our door was locked, he said I was not going anywhere and started beating the shit out of me. When the officer passed, I gave him a note, asking for a cell change. Nothing happened. I got my ass beat that night, my celly raped me, again and again and again. I wrote to the warden,  letting her know that my celly had forced me to have sex with him. It took them two days to remove me. I was taken to the health care unit, questioned and took a rape kit. The following day I was taken to a one man cell and was finally able to use the phone. I called my mom and told her what happened. I filed a grievance. I was interviewed again, but this time I was shown a letter from my ex-celly saying it was consensual. They believed him and covered it up. I ended up with six months in solitary confinement and transferred to where I am now. My new celly and I get along great. He is helping me fight my lawsuit and I am waiting for the judge to make his final ruling on my case! Since being here, I’ve gone to school and played lots of handball, I have a mean serve. I’ve met a lot of good players and made friends with all of them. Then I met Todd, who also plays handball, we talk & walk the yard together. Todd introduced me to “Humans of San Quentin.” I consider Todd to be more than just a good friend, he’s my brother from another mother. Someone I can talk to about anything! Recently, I went from a blue ID to a white ID which means I can go from a maximum security prison to a medium. For 14 years I’ve been in a maximum security prison. I put in for a transfer to be closer to my family, so I can get more visits. I’m also helping my brother, Todd to get moved to the same prison since he’s now eligible. I need someone I know to go with me, so I don’t feel all alone again. Someone I can hang out with and stay out of trouble with. 

Michael “Money”, 49

Michael “Money”, 49

Stories

Meet Michael…

I’m not comfortable in prison, but I am comfortable when I know my family and loved ones are good.

Incarcerated: 21 years
Housed: California Institution for Men, Chino

Mood: Positive, strong, determined and ready to get out and live. 

I’m taking it one day at a time in this concrete jungle they call prison. But as my mama used to say, “Only the strong survive,” may she rest in peace. One day I will be physically free, I’ve been wrongfully incarcerated for 21 years. I have a lot of evidence to prove it if you’re interested in reading about it. 

I’m not comfortable in prison, but I am comfortable when I know my family and loved ones are good. I have the hygiene and food I need. I’ve learned a lot here, primarily patience. I’m trying to change my quick temper and a lot has changed in me. I have a routine and having a job helps. I spend most of my free time at the law library to help me get my physical freedom back! I think a lot. I don’t sleep well in here, and not being comfortable keeps me up at night. 

What do I miss about being free? 

I miss doing what I want. I appreciate things more now, simple things like a shower, bath, clothes, good food. 

How do I feel love? 

Love in my family and those who are here for me while I’m in prison. I don’t see my family since they all live out of state. I talk to them here and there and communicate mostly by mail. 

Love is real, meaningful and beautiful. 

Love is God and Jesus.

Love is strength and determination. 

Please feel free to write to me anytime. God Bless!

Michael, 40

Stories

Meet Michael…

In my fourteen years of incarceration I’ve had two visits.

Incarcerated: 14 years
Housed: Texas Department of Corrections, Daniels Unit, Snyder

In my fourteen years of incarceration I’ve had two visits. The first when I graduated from college and received my bachelor’s degree. The second, a video visit, I got today. The reason for the sparse visits is I’m from out of state. Consequently, though, it’s affected my mental state, and social intelligence. As I say across the screen from my visitor I realized how much I must have aged. For my baby faced cousin had her first signs of crow’s feet. We are the same age.

I was also made aware of how trivial – no, not trivial, surface or superficial – our conversations have been. They can never be seen as trivial because they have sustained me. My awareness came as our conversation moved forward, and we traversed from shallow waters into the deep. My first time calling her, phones for prisoners didn’t exist in Texas when I came to prison, I nearly had a panic attack. Before our video visit that feeling intensified. Mercifully, it subsided quickly after a couple awkward moments. I’m rejuvenated. I had a great visit today. I look forward to the next. 

Michael, 44

Michael, 44

Stories

Meet Michael…

I asked the Lord to forgive me for all that I’ve done to others and to give me the strength to change my life.

When I was 12, I began using heroin. When most kids are 12, their fathers are usually taking them to baseball games or something of that nature. My father was injecting syringes full of heroin into my arms. From 12 to 15, I was in and out of juvenile hall from assaults to robberies to vandalism. 

One night, at the age of 16, I went to a backyard party with my so-called “homeboys.” A huge fight broke out between my group and our rival. I ended up stabbing another kid to death. I was given seven years to life as a juvenile. In prison I continued doing what I knew best, victimizing others. Eleven months later I was arrested by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) for conspiracy to distribute drugs and sentenced to 10 years in federal prison. Once there, I met members of the Mexican mafia. All my life I had idolized them. Back on the streets, I used the Mexican mafia power to abuse local street gangs. My freedom lasted four months and I was back in Los Angeles county jail for attempted murder. In jail, I continued what I knew best, victimizing others. On behalf of the Mexican mafia, I was what you call a “shot caller,” in charge of Hispanic gang members, ordering assaults, extortions and robberies. I’m in jail fighting attempted murder and the LA Sheriffs department charges me with conspiracy to commit extortion with gang enhancements. In trial, I was found not guilty for attempted murder. The next year, I began my trial for the extortion, was found guilty and received seven to life. Awaiting transfer to state prison, I was put in charge of a large amount of Mexican mafia drugs. Careless, I was caught. All at once, thirty Hispanic gang members attacked me. I was hospitalized for a month. Looking up at the hospital ceiling, I got a chance to contemplate what transpired because of my bad choices. I asked the Lord to forgive me for all that I’ve done to others and to give me the strength to change my life. At that moment, I gave up my life of crime, dropped out of my gang, gave up drugs and most of all, I dedicated my life to helping others, especially those that are dealing with the same issues I did growing up.📸 Michael’s own 

Miguel, 51

Miguel, 51

Stories

Meet Miguel…

 I’ve learned to open up, and love myself. To respect and be kind to every human being, no matter who they are.

Prison saved my life in a strange way. I was miserable and unhappy. My marriage was toxic no matter how hard I tried to get it right. I landed flat on my face every time. Prison turned out to be a blessing, especially San Quentin. I got my GED. I’m taking college classes and I’m in multiple self-help groups. The people here are helpful and caring. I’ve learned to open up, and love myself. To respect and be kind to every human being, no matter who they are. I’m getting the help I need, staying productive and positive. My Mom, son and daughter give me the strength and determination to better myself. I’m so proud and blessed to have them in my life. They are good people. For me failure is unacceptable, my mission and goal is to leave prison a better man, humble, caring, loving, compassionate, independent and helpful to others. I want to work and enjoy a simple joyful life. San Quentin to me, is special. It taught me to be accountable for the people I harmed. Embrace the hurt I caused to society. To feel the pain I inflicted on my loved ones and to take responsibility for my past destructive behavior. 📸 Miguel’s personal collection #support

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